ROAD TRIP - namjin oneshots | bottom namjoon. ✓

13

: : sad
: : soldier au

Namjoon pov

He is nervous, fiddles with his clammy palms over and over again, I sighed and sat beside him and cupped his face ; placing his hands on my baby bump. He sighs visibly relaxing under the proximity, I planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Go"

I whispered, he stared at me. "D-don't" I whispered trying to hide the glossing eyes, I will pool it off bursting a mourn if he stares longer. "I promi-"     "shhh!"   I shushed him leaning my forehead on his ; "D-dont make promises you can't save..." i whispered almost pleading him, tears trickled down my cheeks no longer able to stay hidden under the confined space.

He hugged me tightly, not wanting to go, the warmth, the scent i took in me greedily, intoxicating me, breathed like a drug , hands touched his, feeling and memorizing the feeling of presence near me. He kissed my temples eyes darting to my baby bump, he cursed under his breath as his eyes cascaded tears, untold pain hidden behind those celestial tears. "Its t-time" i stared at yoongi who was standing at the doorframe, clearly suited on his army attire with a military bag in his hands.

"I love you" i dont know but these words hurts, hurts so much to hear now, those words we have been longed and desired hurts ten times harsher, it leeches painful thorns, which does both, barricades and saves, leaving me baffled. I dont know, he doesnt knows hence, none of us knew the future ; couldnt prophetic what might happen to him, to them. He tried to wake up  but pulled me in for another kiss, pouring and mourning over the dreading profession. Kissing and quenching our souls, not wanting to part away but just breath over each other's lips, like this, forever but we had to part away. 

He stood up wiping his eyes, me after him as he held my waist helping me out to stabilize myself .He haunched down to my belly and lifted up my shirt, kissing all over it with an urge, kissing all over the hickeys he left yesterday and pressed his forehead on the bump, i could hear him weeping, stifling under his own sobs as he cupped the bump with his clammy shaky hands. I inaled sharply, thoughts splattering everywhere and non of them being a happy one, i cant find myself in a jovial situation, it felt like a 'last' an termination, a goodbye before his service to the country. I shut my eyes, feeling his touch and read it, feeling the way his thumb pads caressed my sides, his lips pecking over my bump. 

"D-daddy doesnt know i-if i can see you...if i will be there to see you , kiss you...b-but daddy promises...."he paused to inhale a sharp breath which possibly didn't reach his lungs, he was crying, like he had never before, it breaks me and shatters me apart but i want to be strong for him ."Daddy promises..daddy loves you so much...m-my little juniors" my heart crumbles, at the words, almost like he had terminated his prophetic on his mind. My heart urges, wanting to scream from the top of my lungs to him not to go and shut him in my embrace ; but i dont want to.

He is a soldier before my husband ; a warrior before a husband ; born to strive between life and death, lives at edges and must always will to sacrifice himself for the country despite the strings he has with him and i respect it, i love him and i will do anything for him. "D-daddy loves you so much champs...m-my whole heart....m-my universe, my babies" he stammered letting out series of declarations about how much the kids mean to him, our first children, a first-ever bundle of joys. My eyes darted to yoongi who had the same bloodshot as us orbs along with hoseok who  was weeping on his arms, the kids hugging their father. 

Jin rises up from his haunch and hugged me tightly, so tightly...as if its his last time holding me like this, my face being buried in his chest, the thoughts are irking and petrifying; i hugged him back tighter squishing my baby bump to him, souls speaking and professing our undying love. I cupped his cheeks pressing kisses all over his face, "i love you" i whispered. "Remember, your a soldier before my husband" i reminded, a smile adorned his face as he made me bury my face at the crook of his neck.I held back a whimper, brushing my cheeks to the twine of his neck feeling the warmth and scent.