Memories {L Lawliet x Reader}

Five

Y/n's smile calmed down eventually and she began to get back to her work. She watched as L got up from his chair and began to walk out towards the stairs leading to the roof. His hands were in his pockets and his posture was terrible, like usual. Y/n couldn't help but notice the look on his face; a face of internal sadness that was beyond description. All she wanted was to comfort him in this moment, she couldn't stand to see the sadness in his face. With every step he took in that moment all that was painted across his pale features was pain and more pain, something y/n could not stand to see in someone she cared about so deeply. 

As y/n continued to watch L the feeling she felt earlier in the day hit her once again, but this time it was much worse. It was nothing y/n had ever felt before, a feeling that could not be described with words. The feeling made her clutch her stomach, and y/n began to feel sick. Her head began to spin, and her vision became blurry. Everything around her slowed as if time it's self was paused. Y/n could no longer focus on her work, and she wobbly stood up from where she was sitting and slowly made her way in the direction of the bathroom, almost running into several walls on her way there. Y/n eventually made it to the bathroom and opened a stall door, quickly hunching over a porcelain toilet. She began to vomit as tears ran down her cheeks, all y/n wanted was for this pain to end, she couldn't handle it anymore. The tears began to pick up speed and ran down y/n's cheeks at a rapid pace, and her cries turned into quiet sobs. I'm strong, quit crying there's nothing to cry about you idiot, she thought scolding herself for being so weak and helpless.

Sorry, just had to pop in here real quick. I'm not the only one who cries while they puke right? Maybe I'm just build different idk.

Flashback:

Y/n sat alone with five empty shot glasses sat in front of her. She still had her work clothes on; a flowy white t shirt with a long pencil skirt, and a black blazer. Her face was red, and stained with salty tears. Y/n had just gotten horrible news that the little boy from a case that she was currently working on died in the hands of his kidnappers. Something y/n thought, and knew she could have avoided, if only she would have been more careful. It was the first time she lost, badly. Y/n blamed the whole situation on herself and lost the trust of the boys family which hurt the most to her. All y/n wanted was for the boy to return home safely, and she promised herself that she would make that happen, but she failed. Y/n hardly ever failed like this, and it was alarming for her and everyone around her.

After finding out the news y/n spent all night in the bar drinking her problems away. This was a new concept for her, and she wasn't used to reacting this way. By this point she was extremely drunk.

"Excuse me ma'am," a female bartender asked with a worried expression on her face. The bartender had noticed how much she was drinking and saw that it was starting to get dark.

"Huh," y/n breathed, lifting up her head to reveal her face.

The bartender stood there in shock at the young woman who looked completely dismantled, and depressed, "I just wanted to say that you should probably call someone to take you home, you look pretty exhausted, and I think you've had enough to drink." The woman began to take the empty shot glasses off the bar and put them into a sink sitting behind the counter.

"No."

"Ma'am I understand that you probably had a tough day today, but I'm only trying to help. It's getting late and I don't want you to be in any sort of danger," the woman stated sternly giving y/n a serious expression. 

"I'm fine."

"Just give me your phone and I'll call someone for you."

Y/n paused for a second but gave in and reached in her skirt pocket for her flip phone. She handed the bartender her phone and the woman began to search through y/n's contacts to find someone to call.