My Chemistry Tutor

CHAPTER 42

LISA'S POV

I walk into my mom's hospital room, and she immediately looks over at me.

She gives me a small, tired smile and pats the bed for me to come over. And despite everything we've been through, I can't help but rush to her side and sit down next to her on the bed.

Without hesitation, she wraps me in a tight embrace.

I know this isn't like us at all, we haven't hugged in ages but somehow, in this moment, it feels like the only right thing to do.

I could have lost my mom. She has never been hospitalized for withdrawal before. I always made sure she never reached this point, but this time, I wasn't here for her.

I left her all alone... just like Dad left us all those years ago. The thought of becoming like my dad clouds my mind, and I can't stop the tears from spilling over.

"I'm sorry," I sob into my mom's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"It's not your fault, love," my mom whispers, gently rubbing my back. Her touch feels warm and tender, something I haven't felt from her in so long. It breaks me down even more.

I have been longing to have my mom back for such a long time.

She slowly pulls me away so that we are facing each other.

"Lisa... this is my fault. I've been such a horrible person to you. I let my insecurities and depression control me. I failed you as a mother, and I know it. And I am so unbelievably sorry for everything."

That's it. Those are the words I've been waiting for all my life. Words that break down every barrier I've ever put up.

Tears stream freely down my face as my mom takes my hands and holds them tight. The emotions between us are overwhelming, but for once, they're not just filled with pain, they're filled with love and hope.

"I'm truly sorry, Lisa. I hope one day you can forgive me. I know I don't deserve it, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it up to you. Gaining your forgiveness is the only thing in life I want now, it's worth it, even if it takes fifty years. I love you, Lisa... and I'm so sorry."

I immediately throw my arms around her, pulling her close. Every horrible thing I've carried on my shoulders feels like it's being washed away in this embrace.

It feels like a clean slate between us. Although I know I can't forgive her completely yet... at least not right away. Forgiveness takes time.

"I love you too, Mom. But... be patient with me on forgiveness," I declare through my tears.

"That's okay, love. Take as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere this time. I'm going to be here for you," she replies firmly, her voice filled with a conviction I haven't heard in years.

I pull away slightly so I can look her in the eyes and say, "Before you can be there for me, you need to get better, Mom. You need help. You need to go to rehab."

My mom sighs deeply before saying, "I know, Lisa. That's why I asked the nurse to give me more information on rehab centers. I will give it a try."

A genuine smile spreads across my face. She's willing to try. For the first time ever, she's truly willing to try. I feel unbelievably happy because she finally understands.

"There's also something else you need to know. It's important," my mom adds softly.

"Is it about the money you tried to tell me about earlier?" I ask cautiously.

"Yes. You see, all those years ago, I knew your dad was going to leave. I could tell he was thinking about it I knew I was getting worse, and that he couldn't take it anymore. I knew he was saving up money to walk away," she begins to explain.

"It's okay, Mom. We don't need to talk about him," I interrupt gently, seeing how hard it is for her to bring up Dad.

"I need to. You need to hear me out," she insists, so I nod and let her continue.

"I knew where your dad was hiding the money. Every now and then, I would take a little and hide it myself. It went on for a while, until he finally left. The moment he was gone, I put that money into a bank account under your name. It's not much, but it should help you find a place and pay for some of your college tuition."

I stare at her, completely shocked, unable to form words.

"I know there were times when we could've used that money. But I couldn't touch it. I just couldn't. That money was yours, Lisa, for when you got older. I didn't want to waste it, so I never told you about it," she says, her voice shaking with emotion.

All I can manage is a quiet, "Thank you."

All this time, I thought she was a monster who never loved me. But I was wrong.

She always loved me. Her depression and alcoholism got in the way. She was sick, but she still loved me.

I hug my mom for the third time, and I don't even question why. Maybe it's because we've been starved for this kind of mother-daughter closeness for so long. Maybe it's because we both desperately need it now.

Whatever the reason, I'm just happy that we've finally had a real conversation that we finally understand each other.

We can both move on now. We can both be better.

Unfortunately, my mom has to stay in the hospital for another day. But Jennie is cleared to leave today.

So, after my long and emotional talk with Mom, I walk back to Jennie's room to check up on her. She's awake now, and her whole face lights up the second I enter the room.

I walk over to her and sit down on the bed beside her. She leans into me instantly, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders. She snuggles closer like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"How did it go with your mom?" she asks gently.

"Surprisingly well. I think we're on much better terms now," I reply honestly.

"That's good. I'm so happy for you two," she says, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Yeah," I whisper with a small smile, then shift closer so I can grab her chin and pull her into a kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she replies, giving me another soft kiss.

We stay wrapped in each other's arms for a while, breathing each other in, until Jennie's parents come in to check on her and finally take us home.