I Hate Football Players 3 | 18+

Chapter 60: Ellie

A/N: Mature content (yep).

"Logan, I don't want to start over."

Just as my ugly cries started, fat rolling tears and congestion tickled in the inside of my nostrils, my eyes fixated on Logan's. Understandably, he looked completely crushed by my admission that I didn't want to start over with him.

I'm such a hot mess... Why am I even crying?

A tight tension coiled up the back of my neck as I curled over and rounded my spine. Harper had mentioned the possibility that I'd gotten emotional post-sex, how she knew that I had no idea but she was right.

My spine bristled and my skin tightened when Logan pressed one of his hands right into the middle of my upper back. Like a warm heating pad, the tension eased from both my neck and my mind. The thoughts that crashed into each other settled down after a few raspy but slower breaths.

With warmth in my cheeks and one turn towards Logan, both my hands cupped his face. As quickly as my mouth moved, I blurted out, "I want to pick up from here, not where we started, and not where we left off after we broke up. Together."

His gaze shifted the more my words soaked in, tension line by line dissolved and a brightness spread over him like a sunrise softly kissed his skin. By the time I sniffled away my congestion and puffed out a shaky exhale, a bright, beautiful smile spread across his face and his eyes sparkled like gemstones.

"Really?" With soft, gentle movements, his fingers dragged my tears off my cheeks. "Not to be an ass but why are you crying then?"

"I... don't know." My chin dipped downward to my chest at my admission, but I further pressed, "I... I'm sorry I didn't say this sooner."

My heart crumpled inward at the first word from his mouth, "Baby, you weren't ready."

"That's too kind." One of my eyebrows arched at him, which softened his smile. "I was a mess, I didn't think I had anything left in me that you wanted, or deserved, anymore. So I just.. quit after we broke up. Not just you, or us, but everything. I just... fell apart. Shut down. Broke down."

"Ellie, you were dealing with a lot then," he said softly as one of his hands trailed warmly down my bare arm. While there was nothing sexual about the touch, goosebumps raised up on my skin and a slight tremble quivered my lower lip.

"I never stopped thinking about you." I fixated my eyes on his. "Once we got here, it was a lot to take in... I handled things horrible and have no idea how you're still with me, but these are happy tears. And now I think... We should start from here and move forwards, if that's okay."

"I get it." His shoulders lifted slightly as he propped his chin in one palm. "I was here for a month waiting for you. I was shocked when I got the letters saying you were my roommate."

"Wait, you knew!?" My body tensed and I sat upright, fully aware when the sheet fell off me how both of us were completely naked. "This whole time you knew?"

"You didn't?" He ran his top hand up my arm, then gently held my elbow. "I got like three letters in the mail."

"No, I..." My voice faded as I assumed Mom's 'mailbox must've eaten it' interference must've factored into play. "It doesn't matter. I'm glad it happened."

"So you'll let me take you out tomorrow, after we're back from Arizona?" He gently squeezed my arm. "Second date?"

"I think we're past second date here." My eyes took in his broad, contoured chest and rippled abdominals as I averted my gaze from his. I lifted my hands down and rested them on the warm, soft skin stretched over his hard chest. As I pressed my palm over his heart space, I smiled when I felt the rushed beats that matched the ones that pounded in my ears.