Teacher, Not Hero (femPercy Jackson X YJ)

One-Shot-Two

An: i- ...this is literally just crack. I was bored. We've been playin it serious for a while. So hopefully this is actually funny and not just dumb. Its like 1 am. Im sorry for not updating. But here have *this* ig. Anyway this is a one shot. So its not really canon in this fic??? Unless you want it to be????? Basically i was bored and have just been reading trash on ao3 for the last month so here have a Percy and the team group chat oneshot I guess????? Im so sorry.

Diana this is all your fault

m o t h e r: batman can suck my dick. Disrespectfully<3

Fly, awaken!: hey hey hey now. That there is my father

red and yellow, the mcdonald's hero:  i mean understandable but why specifically

m o t h e r: honestly man its just the straight up audacity at this point. 

Waterlad: Percy, if you could refrain from insulting the Justice League, our mentors, that would be much appreciated.

moon moon: kaldur your grammar is literally wrecking my soul please i cannot-

m o t h e r: no no its okay, i sent that to Batman too :) he is under no illusions.

m o t h e r: on a completely unrelated note im proud to say that Superman while a little confused, has spirit.

Rufftuffboi: why were you with Superman.

m o t h e r: we were having a lovely conversation in a fine dining establishment about the concepts of morality and humanity :)

Fly, awaken!: what she means is batman sent superman to yell at her in a Denny's about how she isn't allowed to psychologically torture mercenaries.

m o t h e r: man why you gotta ruin my fun???? You've spent too much time in Gotham im telling batbrat im suplexing his child. Hes lost parental rights.

Waterlad: Percy, please...

m o t h e r: too late im already drafting the email

moon moon: can you CC me on that? Please?

m o t h e r: artemis, this is why youre one of my favorites.

Limabean from space: wait you have favorites?

m o t h e r: ..........

m o t h e r: no?

Fly, awaken!: yeah she definitely has favorites.

Rufftuffboi: there's only 6 of us.

moon moon: which is why the favorite status is so important! If there are only 6 of us then whoever is at the top has supreme favoritism

moon moon: and i, as one of these favorites, am > all of u <3

Rufftuffboi: what.

Waterlad: We are Percy's students. It should not matter which ones of us she deems more favorable than others on a personal level.

m o t h e r: I love all of you equally in different ways :)

moon moon: well thats a load of shit.

Fly, awaken!: agreed.

Fly, awaken!: but this begs the question: who is the favorite?

m o t h e r: wally

moon moon: damn no mercy.

Fly, awaken!: not even an ounce of hesitation.

m o t h e r: the rest of you are tied for second.

red and yellow, the mcdonald's hero: haha im #1 its cause im so cool isnt it?

m o t h e r: .....something like that?????

Limabean from space: i think its sweet percy has a favorite

Rufftuffboi: i don't.

m o t h e r: conner at it again w that brutal honesty.

m o t h e r: this is why i pay you the big bucks kid

Fly, awaken!: you guys are getting paid?

m o t h e r: shit man i dont even get paid for this. Diana gave me the wifi and a tub of ice cream and that was it.

m o t h e r: for the amount of nonsense batty ALONE has thrown at me I should be compensated with like. At least 5 dollars.

moon moon: only 5?

m o t h e r: I dont have a great concept of the action to reward ratio.

m o t h e r: like, for example, at 12 i prevented WWIII, and all I got for it was trauma

Fly, awaken!: you know Percy, sometimes you say things that scare me.

Fly, awaken!: like when you say things like that.

moon moon: hey percy thanks for preventing WWIII, I feel like that would have sucked major ass.

m o t h e r: good to see someone appreciates me t-t

Waterlad: Have you never recieved proper thanks? In the stories you were always greated with bountiful rewards for your deeds and sacrafices.

m o t h e r: yeah not so much....

Rufftuffboi: stories?

m o t h e r: yeah, btw, im an Atlantis folktale :)

Limabean from space: ?????

moon moon: im literally not even surprised. You could tell us you were a wanted terrorist and I'd believe you

m o t h e r: uhhhhh

m o t h e r: about that

moon moon: i swear i was joking Percy what did you do

m o t h e r: yeah so y'all remember when the louis arch like. Exploded. And there was that thing in the news about the kid. Who was kidnapped to LA. And then fought their captor on the beach. In a gunfight.

Fly awaken!: THAT WAS YOU??? BRUCE SPENT FOREVER LOOKING INTO THAT!!

m o t h e r: hey that one wasnt even my fault okay I was framed.

m o t h e r: now mt Saint Helen's on the other hand.....

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