First Love (Kang Hyewon ff)

#04

때로 사랑은 참 외로워

Often, love is so lonely

Your P.O.V

February 14, 2018

"That would be 1000 won." the lady in the counter told me before I gave her my payment.

"Thank you." I took the plastic and went out the store, heading to the school.

It was Valentines day, and although I didn't have a date, I had unrequited feelings for someone. That counts, right? So I bought some chocolate.

After what happened last time, I didn't have any courage to make a move anymore. I stayed quiet and whenever we would hang out, I didn't make a fuss. But the butterflies were still there.

There were many couples in the campus and I could almost puke at the PDA I was seeing. This was why I hated Valentines before. But now, here I am, holding a chocolate to give to someone.

"Y/n!" I was startled when Yuri jumped me from behind.

"What the?! Why are you extra hyper today?" I fixed my posture while she just smiled.

"Nothing!" I eyed her suspiciously. But then her eyes drifted off to the plastic in my hand.

"Hold on, is that what I think it is?" she pointed at it but I immediately hid the item behind me.

"Oh... It's just food." I replied, scratching my neck a little.

"Lies. That's chocolate for Hyewon, isn't it?" a smirk grew on her face and I just shook my head.

"Ooohhhhhh you're confessing?!" she raised her voice as she teased me so I quickly covered her mouth.

"Y/n's confessing to who?" I widened my eyes as I turned around to see Yena and Hyewon.

Shit! What if they heard Hyewon's name?!

"No one. Yuri's just being annoying as usual." I smiled sheepishly.

I raised an eyebrow as I saw how Yena's clothes matched with Yuri.

"Wow..." I chuckled as they acted coy towards each other.

While they were being sweet, I felt like a pair of eyes were staring at me. But when I looked around, there were no one, so I just shrugged it off.

I tried to steal a glance at Hyewon who was busy teasing Yena and Yuri for wearing such shirts.

Later that day, after classes, I decided to finally give her what I bought. I went out the building and saw lots of people giving and receiving flowers and chocolates.

I walked around to find a certain figure, and as soon as I saw her a smile formed in my lips.

But it soon faltered as I saw lots of people around her. They were giving her gifts, bouquets and teddy bears, those that looked huge and expensive. She looked happy.

I looked at the small pack of chocolate in my hand, then felt insecure. It was nothing compared to those other gifts. At that moment, I felt very small and incompetent.

I decided to not bother her anymore and walk ayaw, since it was of no use anymore.

February 24, 2018

Ten days had passed since Valentines day. Just like the usual, I would simply stare at her from afar or just pass by her in the hallways.

Although I was used to it, there was this urge inside of me that I should talk to her. Especially when we would be together with Yuri and Yena. But I was such a coward.

These past few days, I was also having a hard time at home. My parents were fighting almost all the time and the only person I could talk to, aside from Yuri who was living far from me, was our neighbor.

Whenever I was sick of hearing their endless arguments, I would go to the house next door and hang out with them. There was someone who was the same age as me, so it was very comforting.

But just yesterday, they told me they were moving elsewhere. It was sad because they've been living there since I was a child. But most especially, because they were my only support.

I was brought out of my thoughts when a tear dropped to the book I was reading. I quickly wiped my face and closed the book, looking around the library to make sure no one saw me like this. Then I ran out. I ran and ran, until my legs gave up in the middle of the staircase.

I sat down for a while to catch my breath and compose myself. I was trying very hard to hold back my tears by biting my lips, but it still felt heavy. I grabbed my phone and dialed Yuri's number, but it was out of reach. I groaned in frustration and hugged my knees, burying my face in between of my arms.

Then, I heard footsteps. It was getting closer and when I felt someone's presence sit beside me, I looked up and saw Hyewon. She was at the other end so we didn't sit very close to each other.

She had earphones plugged into her ears and she didn't even spare me one look. She just sat there, reading a book quietly.

I was confused as to why she was here. But I didn't dare speak a word because I was very down, and she probably wasn't interested in listening to my rants.

I placed my head on top of my knees and sighed. A lot of things were bothering me but somehow, her simply being here beside me gave me comfort.

Suddenly, I felt something poke me in my arm so I turned to see her giving me a handkerchief. She was still reading her book but her arm was stretching out to me.

I took it as a sign that she was telling me to wipe my tears, so I grabbed the piece of cloth and dried my face. I felt a little embarassed, but deep inside I was also bursting in happiness. My crush was sitting beside me, we were both alone, and she just gave me her handkerchief to wipe my tears.

Somehow, I had earned a little hope. That we can be more than just strangers who have mutual friends or acquaintances.

That we can both see each other as more than just friends.