You Captured Me

End

Her

"Aiden."

I looked at who was calling him. A girl entered his office. She was wearing black formal slacks and a coat paired with her heels. She approached us confidently, eyes full of pleasant surprise when she saw me.

"Oh, Lumien. You're back," she cheerfully said.

 I waved. "Hi, Bethany."

"Good to see you." Nilapitan niya ako at nagbeso.

Tiningnan ko si Aiden na nalilito. Curious thoughts filled my mind as to why she was here. Already, my mind concluded that they are together now. I mean, I haven't asked him about it, if he already found someone else or not for the time span that I was gone. Hindi ko naman din ineexpect na hihintayin niya talaga ako kasi matagal akong nawala. Like I said, a lot can change in seven years, and maybe he already fell in love with Bethany at that time. 

Dapat pala hinayaan ko na lang na mag-assume siya na may boyfriend din ako noong hinatid niya ako pauwi. Stupid.

"Hey, girl. Since you're here, I just wanted to apologize for all the things I did back then. Immature pa kasi ako noon kaka-obsess sa lalaking iyan," she said, pointing to him.

He chuckled. "Please, Bethany."

"Nasaktan naman ako ng very light pero tinanggap ko na rin in the end."

Oh. So, they're not together?

"And if you're curious, no I did not chase him when you left. Masyado akong maganda para maghabol," she flipped her hair, emphasizing her point. Tumango naman ako.

"Anyway, I hope all is well. If you want to catch up with Sage and the others, just message me. Ako nang bahala. Oh and Aiden, please tell me the updates on your shoot because the board wants it immediately."

He tiredly sighed and ruffled his hair. I hid a smile. At this age, he still does that habit of his, huh?

"Shoot? You're doing a shoot?" I asked.

"Yeah. Hectic nga lang kasi—"

"Oh my god, why don't we ask Lumien?" Bethany said. 

"Bethany—" He was about to say something but Bethany was already explaining to me their concerns.

"Nag-back out kasi yung photographer na napili namin dahil nagka-emergency. And we haven't found someone who'll replace him yet and the shoot will commence tomorrow so everyone's stressed trying to book someone else. I was hoping if you would like to take the spot?"

He quickly said, "You don't need to Ms. Galauran. You're on vacation, you should rest—"

"I'll do it."

Napahinto naman siya sa sasabihin niya pa. Ngumiti naman ako.

"It's fine, Mr. Sanarez. Besides, it's just one shoot. Just send me the details."

Bethany looked at us both confusingly.

"Bakit kayo naglalast name basis? Don't be so formal, you two. Para namang walang nangyari sa inyo noon."

We looked at each other and immediately my cheeks start heating up again. Hay nako, Lumien. 

I arrived at the studio early. May mga nag-aayos na pagpasok ko at binati naman ako agad ni Bethany habang papunta sa mismong photoshoot space. 

"Bale si Aiden lang ang magiging model ng buong shoot na 'to."

Tumango naman ako. Wow. Deja vu, huh?

Narinig ko namang bumukas ang pintuan.

"Ah, finally. You're here," Bethany said.

I glanced at him and just stared in awe. I don't know why even after all these years, he still manages to make me speechless. Naka formal wear lang naman siya pero iba pa rin ang dating sa akin. It means so much more to me seeing him now after what he has achieved. 

Looking back at what we have been through and how all of it led up to this, I'm glad that he came out successful in his passion. We both did. People often say when love or career comes up to debate is that you shouldn't have to choose because you can grow together. That can happen to some people, and some couples make it work without having to choose. 

But, for us, and for the time we fell in love, I knew in my heart that I wasn't fully complete yet. I had to choose one, and back then I already did, even before we ended up together. And I can admit that I let my feelings rule me for a while, that's why I let myself be with him. That was selfish and cruel. The fact that we were young lovers, but I was a dreamer. I had things planned for myself first before anyone else. I was naive and immature. I know that now.

How can I let go of the one I love for my career? But after everything that happened, I just wanted to allow myself to be selfish if it means it would give me fulfillment. I have to find me so that I can discover my missing pieces.

And he... he understood it. I had to choose my career to grow up before I can finally be ready for him again. And he accepted it, even though it hurt him. 

And I can admit that after all of it, we grew apart, both of us walking on different paths. 

But as I look at him now, I can't help but realize that I hurt him when I didn't choose him then. There's still this sadness filling in me because I let him go. I know I don't deserve him, no one does. And how foolish of me to even think and linger in a tiny spark of hope to have fate be on my side.

That maybe, even after years apart, there's still a chance that I can love him again. Completely.

"Are you ready Amavi?"

I genuinely smiled as he gave me the camera. 

Because for what it's worth, and for all the memories, moments and people I've photographed, he was the only one I would want to capture again and again.

And I will never deserve him, not after what I did; but maybe in another time, or in another life, there's an us that thrived together. 

But in this lifetime, I can only hope for now.

As long as fate lets me. 

"Ready, Aiden."