TarQ Oneshots (Tartar x CQ)

Deep Sea Dates

'Finally a day off!' CQ thought happily. He could finally do whatever he wanted for a whole day. But he soon realised a problem, all he wanted to do was annoy the hell out of Tartar but he almost never stopped working.

He would just have to be as convincing and charming as possible.

"TARTAAAAAR" CQ screamed like a banshee "The fuck do you want?!" Tartar asked walking in. "I uhhh... what if... what if" CQ's brain-like-organ went smooth, he forgot how to ask for something. Tartar just stared at him with arched eyebrows and a disapproving look.

"whaifoudidngotowork" CQ mumbled out "What?" Tartar questioned, CQ's highpitched voice was already hard to understand, so mumbling made it impossible.

"Wahffouidngotowok" CQ mumbled again, Tartar bent down "Talk slower." Him being on eye level only made his already intimidating demeanour worse. "What... if..." CQ stared at the floor" "you didn't go to work..."

Tartar's expression was unreadable, was he thinking about it? Was he mad? Was he flattered? CQ almost never knew. Tartar stood up "Reasoning?" he said as he put his lab coat on.

"We... never hang out properly..." CQ looked back at the floor "We never do anything... romantic" CQ nervously waited for a reply. "You make me show public displays of affection, how isn't that romantic"

"WHATS THE POINT OF THE PDA IF WE'RE NEVER OUT IN THE PUBLIC?!" Tartar stared back at CQ "it's just... everyone's always going on dates and having fun... I'm... I'm just working all day, we barely hang out... I can count how many dates we've had on one hand!!"

Tartar stared back emotionless "It's not fair! I wanna be with you all day, I wanna do fun things with you, I wanna... go on romantic dates with you..." CQ looked up at Tartar's emotionless face.

Tartar walked off down the hallway, "W-where are you going?!" CQ questioned "To... change... wearing null armour in public may make me threatening as I like but it's not good wear for dating." CQ was confused for a moment but then smiled.

———

Tartar knew how to tidy himself up. Tartar's causal wear included softer colours, a pale turquoise sweater covered his entire top half as well as some pastel blue ripped jeans for the bottom. CQ spent a good minute just staring at him.

"Why do you insist on wearing high heels, aren't I short enough?!" CQ questioned staring at his platform boots. "As the young queers say, they slay" Tartar replied monotoned.

"Never say that again."

Tartar rolled his eye and opened the front door, waiting for CQ to walk ahead "oh no, ladies first" CQ smirked. "Sexism is not a joke, CQ" Tartar replied blankly. CQ glared.

CQ just growled and walked out, "Ladies first" he heard Tartar say as he did, CQ glared once again. Tartar made his way to the garage and opened it revealing a car only given to royals. It was branded with spades and had been modified to have the Kamabo Co. logo.

Tartar opened the passenger seat for his short boyfriend, CQ struggled to climb in. The passenger seat was modified to be extra cushioned with a smaller and tighter seatbelt. He then climbed in the driver's seat.

"Any particular 'romantic' activities you had in mind?" Tartar questioned starting up the car, "You didn't plan it out?" CQ asked surprised "I have thought through many activities, I was just checking if you had any input."

"Uhhhh movies are a usual date thingy, it's nice and dark in there too." CQ was thinking "Wait that new anime film is-" "NO"

CQ just frowned angrily at him "No" Tartar repeated. CQ got out his phone and started looking at the current movies. "Ooo horror movie" CQ mumbled "Which one?" Tartar questioned "It's one based off human myths and humans coming back." CQ replied. "Sounds like it could sustain my attention. Do you want to watch it?" CQ nodded.

———

Despite being in non intimidating wear, the inklings and octolings still cowered and ran at the sight of Tartar. Some yelled out, some froze with fear and some even tried to look tough yet failed miserably. He found it amusing to watch.

"Tartar, you know I enjoy watching you terrorise the town but some attention on your date would be nice" CQ giggled "Oh you'll get all the attention you want soon" Tartar replied, voice husky.

"Oh?" CQ tried to not show his true shocked emotions, he got Tartar into a flirty mood?! Tartar usually was robot like, blank and emotionless, but sometimes rarely he would change moods and show emotion. It was very hard to get him to change, sometimes just impossible, but when CQ could get Tartar to laugh, blush or even just smile, it meant a lot.

So managing to get Tartar into a flirtatious mood in public no less?! Oh wow. CQ blushed heavily, unable to control his face.

Tartar spoke up again "Come on, keep walking" CQ sighed, somewhat amused on how quickly he changed emotions. They walked into the cinema lobby, the over priced snacks everywhere, the algae bites caught CQ's eyes. "No." Tartar stated "B-but snaccys!!!" CQ said, trying to act cute. "They're expensive." Tartar tried to continue walking, CQ stood in place like a fussy toddler. "SNACCYS! Also you're RICH!! YOU CAN AFFORD THE SNACKYS!!!"

Tartar's eyebrows lowered, beginning to glare."It's still a waste of money." He folded his arms, the short one in front him doing the same. "I WANT THE SNACCYS" he yelled "You are not getting the snackys." The sea creatures in the building stared at the commotion, confused. "I. WANT. THE. SNACCCCYS!!!" Tartar glared down heavily, his eye twitching as well as one of his fangs poking out his mouth.

———

They sat in the cinema waiting, CQ surrounded by the algae bites, chocolate, a slushy and a massive tub of popcorn. Tartar did not look pleased but who knows, he always had a resting bitch face. CQ looked over at Tartar "I love you-" Tartar cut him off, dead toned "Shut the fuck up." CQ busted out laughing.

Someone in the cinema yelled out "SHUT UP", Tartar focused on them before jumping out his seat to go kill them, the person's screams could be heard as CQ smiled, loving how protective the love of his life was. Tartar didn't actually kill them, he didn't need the agents and police on his back, he just severely injured them, still romantic.

Tartar walked calmly back to his seat and sat down like nothing happened and he wasn't covered in blood. CQ happily munched on his snaccys as the movie finally started.

To be continued...