Critic: WynterFrost
Quick Summary: The story takes place around 57 moons after the events of The Last Hope. Four apprentices; Winterpaw, Emberpaw, Moonpaw and Pantherpaw are all connected by a mysterious prophecy: The darkness draws near, the Panther, the Ember, the Winter and the Moon will join forces to stop the oncoming peril and to save the clans that have defeated the enemy.
Liked/Disliked: I liked how the apprentices all have a different background and different challenges that they have to face every day. From Emberpaw trying to impress his mentor to Moonpaw feeling rejected by her mother. One thing that I found lacking in this story is how there isn't much description on the cats surroundings, like what the weather is like or the different sounds and smells that they discover while on a patrol. Also in chapter four you have an author's note in the middle of the story which is a big no no, this ruins the flow of the story and is not very professional.
Author Improvement: Adding more description to the cats' surroundings I think will greatly improve this story and add more depth to it. Currently your chapters are all just one long paragraph, this can be a bit difficult to read sometimes so I would suggest breaking them up into smaller paragraphs. Also when your characters are speaking start a new line, this can help make it easier to see who is speaking.
Final Thoughts: This is a good story that has great potential.
Rating: 3/5
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