the story of my life

six.

TW: ABUSE, ALCOHOL,SMOKE ,SELF-HARM  AND PROBABLY ED?

Lia's pov:
As soon as i opened the front door, i could smell the alcohol and weed. Great. Since my mom and Rick (Her bf's name) were with their friends in the kitchen which is separated from the living room and the front door. I tried to make my way quietly upstairs since the kitchen door was closed .

I failed. i heard the door open and my mom, Rick and their friends was just behind me. they all smelled so bad that i was so close to throw up.

"Hey honey." my mom said. she never called me that so she is probably very busted right now. "Um hi?" I said confused because she never talk to me unless she wanna make me suffer soooo. "Say hi to our guesses please." she said in a very happily fake tone. "Hi." I said and tried to go to my room but Rick took my arm and dragged me down the couple stairs i took. "Ouch let me go." i cried out. He didn't let go. Instead he just hold my arm harder while digging his nails into my skin.

"Lia don't be such a bitch. Come and join us." My mom said. I swear i wanna punch her so bad right now but i can't because she's my mom you know?

"Soooo Lia where were you today?" One of their friends asked.

"Umm I uhh I had work." I said in a shaky voice. I am so uncomfortable right now and I'm so scared something will happened.

"Work? Pffff you're like 9 why are you working?" Another of them said. It really hit me because i am working so i can have some fucking food  and a roof.

"For starters, I am 13 and i'm working so i can have a fucking roof and food because my mom doesn't buy anything with her money. it's always mine that's why."

As soon as I said that, I felt a hand on my cheek slapping the shit out of me. "YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL BITCH." Rick yelled. I couldn't talk. I was so scared. Bloody hell why did i decided to go back early damnit. I should have stayed with Camilla on set.

"NOW GO IN YOUR ROOM PLEASE I DONT WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AGAIN." My mom yelled.

I ran as fast as I could to my room, locked the door and put my desk in front of the door incasso someone try to come in. I didn't notice i was crying till i felt tears dropping on my hands.

Their words just keep playing in my heads all over again. "Stop being ungrateful" "Your ugly face" "ungrateful bitch"

I had to do it again. I had to release the pain again. I take my box full of blades and scissors. I take a blade and left my sleeves up. The old scars from months fading away.. the new ones from yesterday. I ran the blade down my skin. The blood dropping on the floor and running down my arms. I love the feeling. You know? The feeling of relief even if it's for a few seconds. I continue cutting till i started to feel lightheaded.

I cleaned the blade, put it back in the box and clean my arms. I changed into my pj's and grabbed my laptop to watch netflix. of course i chose grey's anatomy hehe. i am rewatching it and i am currently at season 12. it's crazy that right now i am gonna be in this show and that i am filming for season 18. (A/n: I know in a chapter i said that the cast started following Lia on instagram like Justin and Eric and other people long gone from the show. Just imagine that they didn't left or died. 😄)

I watched probably 3-4 episodes and looked at the time. 7pm. I didn't even ate dinner. But it's ok since i'm not hungry. I decided to go scroll in tiktok till i saw it was now almost 11pm. I had to be on set tomorrow for 8am soo i decided to go to sleep.

August 1st, 2021

My alarm woke me up at 6am. I really don't want to get up. I rolled over in my bed forgetting about my cuts and rolled right on them and goddddd it hurts ok ok. I get out and go by my window, all the cars are gone which means i am alone. I went through my closet took some joggings and a hoodie and my shower stuff.

Once i got into my bathroom, i started the shower and removed my pjs. I stared into myself in my mirror. I could see how i started to be underweight for my age. You can even start to see my ribs now. To be honest, I don't know.. I try to eat but i just can't. I'm not even hungry anymore i just drink water and take some gums and thats it. I hopped in the shower and start to wash myself. Today was my first scene with Caterina. Goshh i'm excited to see if we have a good mother/daughter chemistry. I remember all my lines so I should be good but I kinda started to freaking out. What if I messed up? What if i forget my lines? What if something bad happens? What if we joke around and I can't be serious anymore? What if.. 

I get out of the shower, put my clothes on and stared my face in the mirror. You can see my cheek being a little bruised from the slap Rick gave me.

It was now 7am and i decided to walk to set today, i will be there a little earlier but i don't mind it.

By 7:45am I was on set. I walked through my trailer and take my laptop to do some school work. 10mins later, a knock was heard on my door. "Come in." I said. Caterina showed up with the brightest smile. Her smile was so comforting and made me feel safe. I don't know why. "Heyyy you ready for todayyy?" she asked and i could tell she was really excited. "Yes I hope it's gonna be good." I said.

Caterina's pov:
"Don't wordy i am sure you'll be perfect." I said trying to comfort her. A knock was heard on Lia's trailer and we both yelled "Come in!". "Ahh there you are. Caterina I see you already are in scrubs that's great. Lia your clothes for today must be in your closet just behind you. After you put that on, you guys can go to the makeup trailer." An assistant said. "Ok thank you." Me and Lia both said.

Lia went to her closet to grab her clothes. When she took them out she saw it was a t-shirt and i could immediately know something was wrong. "What's wrong sweetie?" I said. She looks up at me with tear and fear in her eyes. "I can't wear t-shirt."

A/n:
Chapter six already!! thank you so much for all the reads and the votes and the comments. It's making me smile and i love reading your comments!
Hope you all have/had an amazing day!
-Sophie

ig and titkok: lqvesamelia