After 4 | ✓

Chapter 45

Hardin's POV:

"Please don't peek," I beg of her.

"I won't." Tessa turns away from me, and I study the way she turns her head to smile back at me.

I wanted to go into the apartment and sit next to her as she reads the entire novel, but I know that I shouldn't. I use the small amount of judgment that I have and decide to take a walk around this dirty city.

The air is humid, as I'm wandering around the city for almost three hours and it's afternoon.

Tessa's work shift has been started two hours ago. But she has to miss it. Maybe?
As she's reading my written work. My-no-our story.

Shit.

I almost forgot about my fucking flight. I've to leave in thirty-minutes or I'll miss it. So I headed to the apartment.

Hope Tess have read it the whole story, or close to it and made up her mind. And also forgive me the parts where I've written pretty fucking hateful stuff to denigrate her.

Opening the front door I step in, her work shoes are still near the door, so that means she didn't leave for her work.

Walking into the living room, I see the binder-Tessa's gifted one-is laying on the coffee table, with all the pages in, not even a single page is on the floor like before.

"Tess," I call for her and look around to see where she is. But my eyes catches a bag, my bag, near her's bedroom door, which was apparently she took it inside her room for the time I'm staying here.

She packed my bag, didn't she?
I told her that I've the fight to catch, so maybe she did it for me. But where she is? "Tessa." I call for her again, but she didn't answer me this time too.

I look everywhere at this small-ass apartment, even in Landon's room, except her own room. Which I had to fucking search it in the first place. She had to be in her room. So I go for it, turning the knob to open but it's lock and I hear a little gasp.
It's her.

"Tessa, are you in there?" I know she is. "Please open the door." I say softly. No need to be fucking demanding right now.

Pressing my ear against the door, I hear muffle sniffles of her. Is she crying? Of course she is. She's so fucking emotional.

"Tessa please open the door." I beg. I want go in there and make her understand I didn't want to write the hurtful stuff about her, things she did and made her read. "Tess I didn't meant to hurt you and write the things that distress you. I really don't."

I rest my forehead against the door. "Tess please. Please open the door." I softly demand. "I want you to know that..." I don't know what to say, except "I'm so sorry Tessa for writing the fucked up things. And I love you."

I really fucking do, so much. She means everything to me, my life and I hurt her every single time, constantly. Even after I promise her and to me not to do it.

One of my greatest wishes in life would be for her to understand, to truly understand, that she is rare. She's one of the few people in this world who know forgiveness, and when many would call her weak, she is truly the opposite. She's strong, strong for standing by someone who hated himself.

Strong for showing me that I'm not damned, that I am worthy of love, too, despite growing up thinking the opposite. She was strong enough to walk away from me when she did, and she's strong enough to love unconditionally. Tessa is stronger than most, and I hope she knows that.

Buzzing my phone, I pull it out from my pocket and it's the cab for my ride to the airport. I've to fucking leave now or I'll miss it. But I don't want to leave crying Tessa too.
What the hell should I do?

"Tess I've my fight to catch, so I've to go now. Can you just come out and say a goodbye before I leave. Please?" I softly request.

Just one hug can make me feel less shit what I've done her. The kind-hearted girl which I have, had, still her heart break.

But as she's not opening the door, I don't have any other fucking option but to leave and give her time to process things. Then after she would talk to me and maybe let pass the things I've written.

"Okay, I get it. You don't want to talk to me. So I'm going. Goodbye Tess." Closing my eyes I say, "I love you always has and always will remember that please."

Minute pass by and I'm standing there in hope she'd open it but she didn't. So I move back taking my bag and put it on my shoulder. Heading out of the building, I turn to look back at the entrance in hope that if she'd follow me before I get into the cab but she did not.

......

Tessa POV:

"Okay, I get it. You don't want to talk to me. So I'm going. Goodbye Tess." He adds with all emotion he has, "I love you always has and always will remember that please." I cover my mouth with my hands to stop the whimper leaving my lips.

I do too. I love him so much that no one can ever imagine the deepest love I have for this man.

He thinks that I'm mad at him writing the stuff about me but in reality I'm not. I'm really not, maybe a bit, yes. But I'm angry at myself that I didn't understand all that time what was going through his mind and the reason he acted the way he did.

Most of the things he did was I named as jealousy and yes it was. His controlling, possessive and yet protective, overprotective nature made things complicated, very much, between us.

I'm angry at myself for not knowing that he thinks he was a damned, a heartless person and he hated himself more than anything he'd ever explain. But he has a heart, made of pure gold, and capable of loving me truly.

I hear his heavy boots walking on the hardwood floor and opening and closing of the front door. I let out my breathe, wiping my eyes and nose, I stand up and sit down on the edge of my bed.

Most of you'd be baffling that why am I mad at him? The answer would be, if anyone, not just anyone, the person you love the most would write most painful stuff about you and at the same time most affectionate, loving stuffs too, you will be confuse too, won't you?

Confuse, either you'd slap him and say vicious, unkind words to him, so he'd never do such a thing ever again with burning his whole book to ashes and blow into his face. But that's not me.

Or you would kiss him, replacing his frowned face to a happy one, for noticing small details about yourself and why he loves you. So yeah I'm confuse to choose what is good for me.

Therefore the best thing to do is to keep myself out of this, which is impossible or not to speak to him thus I can have some time to think.

So I let him go.