Yet Another leo valdez Memories Fan Fic

how could you leave me? the one person I care about...

(A/N, I'm sorry. I don't know what I want to do with this anymore- I've completely lost interest since I've been getting back into my Doctor Who obsession. I will try to finish writing this as quickly as I can.)

weeks pass and Piper and Jason became friends quickly so the three of them become tied at the hip. then Piper tells Leo that she likes Jason, and not a day later Jason tells him about his feelings for Piper. it was a gut punch for Leo, making him miss Logan more and more.

he reads Logan's letter every night. and every night sneaks out of the dorm and into the woods out back. he sits out here at night. like he is right now, just watching the stars waiting for the crack of dawn to go back into the dorm and pretend that everything is ok, that everything is normal.

like he doesn't want to slit his wrists, like he has a family out there that misses him, that Logan never existed or at lest never died. he wonders what his mom would think of him now? with everything he's done, would she still love him even though he isn't a good person like she hoped he would become?

Leo isn't allowed to die yet, no matter how tempting it is, Logan made him promise plus what about Jason and Piper- would they miss him? do they even care? no. he knows they just keep him around out of pity, just for laughs. he know that he burdens them by sticking around. no one cares. no one will miss him. no one will cry.

and that is what hurts the most- no home. no family. no one to miss him and no one to care. he really is alone. Maya and Logan were the only ones who cared about him despite what he has done and both are dead, he can't let that happen to Jason and Piper. he is poison to anyone who comes to care about him. he can't let them suffer the consequences of caring about him.

he lifts his head off the oak tree's trunk and pulls out the razer blade from his jeans pocket and turns his wrist, resting the blade on his wrist and applies pressure and drags the blade across his wrist, cutting into his skin and old scars from all his prior suicide attempts.

his breathing coming out heavy and frantic as his hand shakes with pain, he'd think that he would be used to it by now but he guess he's wrong. as he drops the razor, a wave of relief washes over him as he watches the blood pour out of the cut and onto his jeans and grass.

tears of joy roll down his cheeks as he chuckles softly, mumbling "finally free." he begins to feel light headed and tired. his breathing slow and even, like he's asleep. his vison blurring. a soft smile on his face as he passes out from blood loss.

Percy lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in as the memory fades. and that's what it is- a memory. something that'd truly happened his crewmate truly tried to kill himself to protect his friends even though he was sure they didn't care about him. he's whole heartedly willing to die if the world would be better off without him.

Percy isn't sure he'd be willing to do the same. he glances over at Leo and sees the reignition on his face. he'd gone from panic attacks and flashbacks fighting this at every turn. scared of what they'd see, to resigned to the prospect of losing everyone he cares about.

Leo could faintly hear someone shouting for him to wake up, but he isn't sure who. who would even care? how long has he been here? where is here? why can't he move? he does his best to try to find anything but he's surrounded by nothing but an endless abyss of black, it's like he's sinking to the bottom but there isn't one he can't see anything above him either.

but he can still hear someone begging him to wake up, to stay with them. the voice becoming clear enough for Leo to know it's male. and that he is probably crying. then he hears another voice as he his the bottom of the endless abyss.

someone is walking closer as they say "why, Leo, why would you break our promise?" he knows this voice- "Logan?" his voice cracking as he says his name. Logan comes into view and Leo feels tears welling in his eyes as he tries to move, trying to get to him, to hug him, to confirm he's real.

Logan only gives a sad and pained smile. "yeah, it's me. Leo, what happened? how could-" Leo goes from feeling relief that Logan's here to anger, what gives him the right to show up now? "how could I what? no that's what I should be asking you. how could you?!" Logan looks a taken back but quickly recovers "Leo, I couldn't go back there."

Leo narrows his eyes, still unable to move "so what, instead of talking to me you just up and kill yourself? you left! you left me... the one person who I could trust in the whole fucking world left me." angry hot tears cascade down his face his voice raw with anger, pain and betrayal.

"so let me ask you. how could you?" Logan watches Leo with pain and regret etched on his face. all he says is "I'm so sorry." Logan's voice just above a whisper. Leo scoffs in disbelief "'I'm sorry?' that's it? you left! why? why does everyone I care about leave? I love you, how is that not enough?"

Logan eyes water as he says "I love you more then anyone else in the whole world, Leo." Leo softly sobs as he begs "please don't leave me." Logan breathes "I can't stay, it's not your time yet, Love." Leo continues to cry as he says "I don't want to do this without you."

Logan smiles, stepping closer wiping away some tears and says "I know. and I'm sorry you have to. just remember that no matter what, I won't be your last love, and I'm ok with it." Leo asks confused "what?"

Logan chuckles kissing Leo's cheek, and Leo says "don't you dare do anything stupid without me." he quickly responds "how can I? you're taking all the stupid with you." Leo's heart clenches as he whispers "I miss you so much." a single tear rolls down Logan's cheek as he says "good bye, Leo Valdez." Leo's eyes widen as he struggles to move "wait, no, no, no, no, I'm not ready! wait! Logan!" as the darkness fades as does Logan.

Piper tries her best to hide her silent sobs as she watches the darkness fade and Logan leaving again. key word being 'again' how could she not know this happened, how could she not know she is one of the reasons her best friend tried to commit suicide? suddenly she feels nauseous a horrible feeling settling in her stomach and heart.

(A/N, ok... I'm hoping this will be one of the last chapters. I just can't keep going with this, it's taking a toll on both my mental and emotional state. so try not to get to excited. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night and if you are a hugging person? then long or short distance hugs.)