Impulse [Frerard]

Part 3

Weeks had gone by, and it seemed apparent to Frank that Gerard was avoiding him.  They had barely spoken to each other since the day of that accursed interview, and Frank was a mental and emotional mess.  It wasn’t just those bizarre urges and cravings for Gerard anymore.  Frank just really missed him.  It was like that closeness they always seemed to share had faded away. 

Gerard would have to see more of him whether he liked it or not now though.  A new US tour was starting with its first show tomorrow night, and already the band was crammed in their bus, heading across state.  It was back into the motion that is life on the road.  Tomorrow morning there would be a quick interview to talk about the tour.. and blah blah.  Frank was amazed he even was able to pay enough attention to remember that much during the discussion with Brian over the scheduled itinerary of the next couple days.  Usually Frank was beyond excited when tours started up, but this time was different.  Yes, he was happy to be back out there playing shows.  It’s what he lived for.  And yes, he was happy he was going to be close to Gerard like he so longed to be, but nothing was going to be like it used to.  Things were going to continue to be so awkward between Gerard and himself.  Their friendship had officially been affected by strange yearnings and confessions.  What were the shows going to be like now?

Frank was in his bunk with a Harry Potter book in hand.  Rereading the entire series during quiet downtime was going to be the ritual of this new tour, but this plan was already proving a difficult task.  Frank was only on the third page and had probably reread the same sentence about twenty times without actually ever absorbing what it said.  Frank couldn’t take his mind off of this situation with Gerard.  Couldn’t take his mind off of Gerard period.

You know, all you ever do is think about him.

“I know..” Frank sighed, giving up the hope of escaping his problems for the time being by getting lost in a world of magic and wizards. He closed his book and just started vacantly at the cover.

About kissing him.

“I know..”

About just being close.

“I know..”

About him holding your hand and longing for him to tell you he loves you again.

“I kn— Wait, I do not!”

You really should just admit it.

“No!  This is just some weird physical thing, really.”

You know it’s more than that.  You love him.  You always have.  You’re just too scared to admit it.

“I—”

“Hey Frank, is everything okay in there?”  The sudden sound of Bob’s voice just outside the curtain disrupted Frank’s thoughts.  “I heard you yell.”

Shit.  Have I really been having a fucking conversation out loud with myself?

“No, I’m fine.  I was just talking on my phone.”

Nice save.

“..I just saw your phone in the back room..” Came Bob’s skeptical response.

Fuck.

“Uh.. Fine, I was reading out loud with some fucking enthusiasm,” Frank served the silly lie.  “I’m gonna try to sleep for a bit.  Wake me up when we get there.”

“Sure.  There’s supposed to be this little store and gas station a couple miles up ahead, though.  I was coming to tell you that we’re planning to stop there.  So if you wanna get out or get anything we’ll be there in a few minutes.”