always forever ☆ sunny suljic.

should i stay or should i go

i stepped inside, slowly and cautiously. my mom was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a cup of tea, in the silence of the night. 'should i even ask where you're coming from? should i even bother?', her voice was sharp and ferm. 'it wont happen again, i wont be home late again', i replied, trying not to show any emotion through my voice. 'how can i trust you now anyway? just go to sleep. you're lucky if i decide not to tell your dad about this tomorrow morning'.

i rushed to my room, disappointment washing over me. my phone was already lighting up with notifications from sunny though - the most random, cheesy texts possible. i hate myself a bit for liking this so much. i hate myself for actually folding for every single word. this man could tell me anything and i'd take his word for it, especially if it's followed by that damn smile.

i looked at the date. sunny's birthday was coming up in 2 days. his mom was talking about it in the car earlier. an idea sparked inside of my mind. i grabbed my phone and texted olan.

y/n: bro lets do a surprise party for sunny

in the blink of an eye, a groupchat was made and we started organising stuff. the boys were hyped and we settled on doing it at olans'. i fell asleep short after, but not before questioning myself if we should ask estee to come or not. at the end of the day, it was sunny's birthday and we were supposed to celebrate it with the people he would want there - so i couldnt really find any reason as to not invite her. she would probably think im starting some petty competition for his attention and it would ruin his birthday. this is the one day i wish to be left drama-free. and the best way to avoid drama was to make this peace offer.

the next morning, i rushed to school so i could catch olan before classes and ask him for feedback on this concern of mine. ' i think sunny will appreciate your effort to make things right with estee, but i cant garantuee anything. you came up with the idea of the party so i think you should follow your gut on this one'. he seemed unsure of what to tell me, and if i were to be honest i was also unsure of what i wanted to hear. a part of me didnt want to believe sunny would want to have estee there, but knowing that i might be wrong convinced me i should at least try. so i texted estee during first period and she was rather surprised i asked. i could tell she was happy though - i even told her 'no more stupid fighting if you're coming' and she agreed instantly. maybe this could actually go well?

after the first two periods i was hoping sunny would come look for me. we didnt share any classes, but i passed him and estee a bunch of times in the hallway. he didnt exchange any looks with me, but i cant blame him, since estee was all over him again. i wonder what he's doing, what he's thinking of. i wonder why he's not with me. anyway, i took julie to the rooftop because i wanted to talk to her about stuff.

'i think its pretty damn cool of you to ask estee to come. you're really asserting dominance there', she laughed, giving me a fist bump. 'i hope it goes well. i'm so nervous i think i'm gonna pass out'. she reassured me and short after, gio came up to us and spent the rest of the break with us.

sunny: i miss u where r u

i saw the text and basically felt my heart fly out of my chest. gio and julie were laughing at me for rushing away with a red face, but i was too starstruck to care. i rushed to second floor, nurse's office. sunny was waiting for me. he opened his arms as soon as i got there. all of a sudden, all my worries vanished. we spent the rest of the lunch break talking about some random science theories he had just learnt about. he was telling me about the universe, and it felt like i was staring at it right through his eyes. he kissed me in-between almost every sentence he was saying - 'that could be a really good teaching tactic' i told him, my brain completely paused by his beauty and his words.

after school was done, sunny took me home. we stopped at a record store on our way and listened to a bunch of oldies in the booth there. he told me about the music he likes and reminded me of the playlist i made him. we listened to the clash and he really enjoyed it, so i decided to buy that for him for his birthday - not only to show him that i listened, but also so he could keep the memory of us in there that day. we walked the entire store a bunch of times and gasped whenever we saw something remotely familiar. i think we spent a bit too much time in there, but neither of us noticed. we danced in the booth to 'cheri cheri lady' and then kissed through 'let's go to bed' by the cure and it felt like those moments would be infinite. his kisses were getting greedier but so was time, as it was already getting darker and i knew i had to get home.

- - - - - - - - - - - the next day.

i woke up hearing the sound of someone knocking at my window. i opened my eyes and thought about how this might just be my horror movie death.

'wake up sleepyhead' sunny's voice raptured any kind of fantasy i was just having. i was a bit confused on why he was here, but it didnt bother me, as long as my parents didnt find out. i let him in. he wanted to pick my outfit for the day and i let him, mostly to earn spending more minutes in bed. hearing his laugh so early in the morning truly made me wake up in a good mood.

we walked to school together. he held my hand until we reached the street that took us to school, thats when he dropped it. i was a bit startled by the sudden act, but i didnt have the time to ask anything. 'i need to talk to you about something, but not right now.' he said, a faint sense of worry in his voice, 'just promise me to wait until i come and tell you, no matter what you hear from anyone else'. i nodded. he left as quick as he tormented my mind a few seconds ago - he was brief yet the feeling he left within me lingered. for some reason its always hot and cold with sunny - he acts as if we're a couple and then completely changes moods. but maybe the talk we'll have will end this confusion. as if she knew this was going on, estee texted me to meet her later at the shop. she also wanted to talk.

- - - - - - - - - - - later in the afternoon

i walked to the shop in silence. for some reason i felt like i did the first day - suddenly alone, unfamiliar with everything here. i felt out of place. didnt hear from sunny for the rest of the day. instead, i spent my time with the rest of the guys and julie, talking about what we're each bringing to the party tomorrow. 

estee was waiting for me in front of the shop. she got up as soon as she saw me, 'y/n! come here!' she had a smug smile on her face. 'ok so... i just wanted to ask you a huge favor. i know this is not fair of me, but i want to ask you to not come to sunny's party tomorrow. i know you planned it and stuff, but i talked to sunny earlier today and he told me his birthday wish was us not fighting anymore and he would rather we wouldnt interact and yeah...' she looked down, playing with the rings on her fingers. she had a bit of a stutter, unusual to her normal speech. 'i just think that as his girlfriend, i should be there. im really not trying to cross you though, i just want sunny to be happy on his birthday'. i felt like i had a hole in my chest. i imagined estee tearing my heart out of it right that moment and eating it in front of me. 'think it over yeah?'

although there was probably more to think over than what shocked me then and there, my mind completely stumbled upon one word.

what the fuck did she mean by girlfriend?

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a/n: HELLOOOO its been so long since i last updated this :ooo thanks to a random email i saw of someone commenting on this, i opened it again and seeing how much you guys liked it, it motivated me to update! i know its been a long wait, but hopefully it was worth it <3 i'll update more these days :) (also ignore the fact that sunnys bday is in august and theyre going to school in the fic) next chapter all hell breaks loose ;)