Dear Perrie

Chapter 5

"Do you still love me?" I asked again. She just stared at me, no emotion showing on her face until she sighed deeply and looked away.

"Honestly Jade I can't answer that."

"Yes you can. Only you know the answer to that."

"Jade..I honestly don't know."

"How don't you know? Either you do or don't. I know myself I still love. I never stopped loving you."

"Well I can say that I never stopped loving you and yes I do still love you, but you hurt me and that I can't forget." she said with a sigh.

"I know I hurt you and for that I am sorry and I will always be sorry, but I just needed to know if you still loved me or not."

"Well I do. Not like that answer changes anything though."

"I know it doesn't, but I know that you still love me so I know what I'm feeling isn't one-sided." I said and she nodded. We finished our breakfast in an awkward silence.

Once we both finished eating I offered to clean up and she accepted my offer. She went upstairs and began getting ready for work. I took both our plates to the kitchen and began washing the dishes. I sighed knowing I had somewhat made a food of myself. She had invited me into her home and here I was pushing questions on her. Totally inappropriate questions.

Once we were both ready for work we walked to her car and I got in the passenger seat. I was more than sure the ride to work would be awkwardly silent and I wasn't ready for that. As she began to drive I just stared out the window, too afraid of sparking up conversation.

A few minutes into the ride she had turned on the radio and began going through the stations. She left it on a song she and I both knew very well.

"Isn't that royals?" I asked looking at her.

"Yea." she said smiling at me.

"I remember when that was our favorite song."

"It's still my favorite." she said and we had both started to sing along.

The rest of the ride to work was filled with chatter of things we both remembered from either high school or college. We had talked about a few things we used to do when we were very close friends. And although I knew now that she and I weren't very close I knew that this friendship could somehow be built up again. We had once promised each other a long time ago that we'd be friends forever and here we were years later in her car going to work. So maybe not all promises are meant to be broken.

Once we were at work it felt like nothing had ever been awkward. We talked continuously throughout the day about how much we'd rather be home watching Netflix or something. Although this was the best job we could get we didn't quite it enjoy it much since it demanded us to be here for such long hours and for us to complete loads of paper work.

During our lunch break we went into a small restaurant that served a variety of things. Things from Italin food to Chinese food and Spanish food. It had almost anything you could think of. I decided on going small and ordered a small plate of pasta with a side of garlic bread. While we waited for our food we talked.

"So Jade.." Perrie began.

"Yea?"

"About earlier this morning."

"Oh yea that question." I said with embarrassment clear in my voice.

"I want you to know something."

"What?"

"I love you so much. I still love you more than anything and I honestly believe that if we had waited just a bit longer to be together we could have worked out fine. We would probably be engaged now, but we were young and willing to fall into anything. We didn't know what we were doing and now we've got a better idea of what relationships should be. Hopefully you can find someone who made me as happy as you made me. And who knows maybe one day you and I just may end up together once again."

"Well if that were to happen what would happen to Zayn" I ask and she shrugged.

"I never said for sure it would. I only said it may be a possibility. Neither of us know what the future hold. Maybe Zayn and I were meant to be or maybe you and I were. We don't know yet." she said.

"You're right. And I really want you to know how sorry I am about everything that happened back then."

"It's fine. It was the past. I'm over it and you should be to. I was just very excited to see you back here and I'm very excited to see what the future holds for us." she said smiling. Oddly this gave me a lot of hope that one day Perrie and I would some how end up together again. I wasn't sure how and I didn't know when but I knew it would. She and I belonged together. Both she and I could deny that fact as many times as we wanted to, but it was a fact and nothing about that truth could ever change. I knew that even though she was with Zayn now she still felt what she had felt before. And I knew that every time we looked at each other and every time we touched she felt something. Whether it be a spark or a connection it was there and there was no denying that.

Once the day was over and we both had gotten home Zayn wasn't there. I was happy of that fact of course. Perrie had told me he had gone out with his friends so it'd be a while until he'd get back meaning it gave me a few good hours alone with her. Since neither of us felt like cooking we agreed on ordering a pizza and watching a few good movies.

When the pizza arrived both she and I were already in sweats and had Netflix on. Perrie had gone to the door since I was to lazy to and paid. She came back to the couch and slightly nudged me.

"Why'd you nudge me?" I whined in a playful manner.

"Because you're lazy."

"That's true." I said. We both decided on watching the notebook first since it was one of our favorite movies. During the movie we both ate two slice of pizza, half a bag of chips, some cookies, and we each had a piece of chocolate cake.

By the end of movie we were stuffed and could no longer eat a thing.

"I think you ate more than me." she said.

"Yea that's impossible. You're the one always eating." I said and she giggled. I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and from what I saw she had slowly moved closer. Every second she seemed to be getting closer and before I knew it I felt her lips against mine. Soft as they had also been and the connection even stronger than before.