Chapter 28

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Natasha:
She looks back up at me, now fearful. Her eyes bounce to the wrist I'm holding. She quickly tries to rip her arm away but I don't let her.

"Valerie, what is this?" I ask her, bringing her hand into my lap.

"Nothing. Please, stop," she begs in tears, still trying to pull her arm away while gripping her sleeve to prevent me from looking.

I take her other hand in my free hand, gently trying to pry it off her sleeve. It takes a bit of effort but I eventually get her to let go. When she does, I carefully slide her hoodie's sleeve up her arm a little and my heart shatters into a million pieces.

"Oh my god..." I tear up at the sight of her forearm absolutely covered in red lines.

"Nat-"

"What happened? When did you do this? Why? Are there more?" I grill her.

"I-I'm so sorry," is the only thing she responds with, answering my last question for me.

I then take her other arm, doing the same with her other sleeve, exposing even more cuts. She breaks down.

"Valerie, what happened?"

She doesn't respond, just continues to cry, discretely rubbing her thighs. I glance to where she's touching and sigh under my breath.

"Can you show me where?" I ask sadly.

She looks back up at me with tears streaming down her face. With a nod, she leads me into her room. When we get there, she locks the door and slides her sweatpants off, showing me her thighs that look the same as her arms. I can't stop the tears from filling my eyes. She immediately pulls her pants back up and tries to go into her bathroom but I stop her.

"I think we need to talk," I tell her.

She sighs, giving in by sitting on her bed. I carefully sit next to her.

"So what happened?" I start the conversation.

"Ever since I came home from my mission, after I died, I haven't been able to shake my thoughts," she finally admits. "When I was left here while everyone else was on the new mission, I finally gave in."

"Val, you should've said something."

"I didn't- I couldn't worry you."

"Well, I'm worried. You need help. You should've come to me."

"I'm sorry. I'm not used to people caring."

"Why? You know I care about you more than anything."

"I-I had a bad childhood and I didn't have a good past," Val sighs.

"Tell me about it."

"All my life until I moved out, my dad abused me. Mentally, emotionally, physically. He would tell me how much he hated me and wished I were dead. So I made an attempt on my life only for him to yell at me for the hospital bills."

"Valerie, I'm so sorry."

"Then I got a boyfriend when I moved out. He wasn't much different from my dad, to be honest. He beat me any moment he got. He would get drunk and yell at me for every little thing. He called me a slut, a whore when I went out with friends. Then I found the Avengers. Yeah, you guys are the family I wish I had growing up but I still have that unconscious feeling that everything is the same."

As I process her words, I embrace her in a hug, which she returns the best she can. "We are not like that. We love you so much. I love you so much. I would never ever do that do you. You're the most important thing in my life. I'm so sorry you had such a hard life. I hope I can show you I'm different."

"I'm sorry I never told you. I should have."

"You never have to apologize. This isn't an easy conversation and I understand if you weren't ready to talk about it until now."

"Please don't tell the others."

"I won't."

"About everything. I'm not ready for them to know about this." She gestures to her cuts.

"Okay but under one condition. You let me in. You let me help. I can't do nothing."

"Okay," she surrenders.

"Thank you. I love you, Val. Don't forget that."

"I love you too."

Val sighs sadly again. After a couple of minutes she says, "I don't eat anymore."

"I know."

"I just get so sick looking at anything. Like, I want to eat. I do. When I'm not looking at food, I think I'll be able to, and then it's when I'm about to... I just can't get myself to."

"We'll work through this together."

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