impossible. - tommy x reader

chapter 20

your pov

after sending the tweet, tommy and i go back up to his room and sit down on the bed, barely apart.

"would you like me to put on some music?" i ask, breaking the silence.

"sure"

i put my playlist on shuffle.

(I'm Not In Love - Kelsey Lu)

we sit there, in silence again as the song starts playing,

i'm not in love

i take a glance at him only to see he's staring at me

so don't forget it

he looks away and so do i

it's just a silly phase i'm going through

even though the music is relatively loud, i can hear his breathing, shaky, and i'm sure he can hear mine as well

and just because, i call you up

i look at him and he looks lost in thought

don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

silence, no movement.

i'm not in love, it's because

in a spur of the moment i say
"i like you tommy"

i like to see you

"what" he stutters out

but then again

fuck. i ruined it. "i like you"

that doesn't mean you mean that much to me

"well i quite like you too we're friends"

so if i call you,

"no, i LIKE like you, like more than a friend"

don't make a fuss

"oh"

sitting under the purple LED lighting, on his bed, music in the background, i regret my words.

don't tell your friends about the two of us.

"i'm sorry, nevermind"

i'm not in love

i get up to climb out the window and he stands up and grabs my arm. "wait"

oh no

"you dont feel the same and ive ruined it" i say, shakily.

it's because

all of the sudden, he pulls me in and kisses me. the moment is perfect, it feels like it could last forever. perfection in it's finest. kissing the boy i've loved for months. my first kiss.

enveloped in the music and lighting and affection.

i keep your picture

i pull away, embarassed, but smiling

up on the wall

"you like me?" i question

it hides a nasty stain thats lying there

"maybe a bit too much" he states, flicking me on the forehead.

so don't you ask me

"well"

to give it back

"well what?" he asks

i know you know it doesn't mean that much to me

"thats poggers"

i'm not in love

"shut the fuck up"

no, no, it's because

we lay on his bed, in comfortable silence. his hand in mine, sweaty, clammy, but lovely. music continues to play.

and for the first time ever i fall asleep next to him.