LOUD MOUTH → PETER PARKER ✓

Chapter Thirty: The Letter

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘: THE LETTER

Bug Boy,

         I hope it's okay that I called you that, seeing as this letter is meant to be a sort of goodbye if it ever comes to that (which, for the record, I hope it doesn't). So if you're reading this, that means we've decided to part ways. I hope it was mutual, of course, but I'd assume you know by now that life never really goes the way we planned. Okay, here we go.

First things first: I will always love you. And I'm not trying to be Celine Dion here. I've had a few revelations in the past few days, the most recent being that I literally could not stop loving you even if I tried. And I tried. It's so hard for me to imagine a life without you in it, so hard that it hurts. I hope that one day you can live a happy life without me in it. Well, maybe grieve for a bit of course. It would suck if you didn't. Yeah, moral of the story is that I love you and I can't stop it. I don't want to. But again, if you're reading this letter, I'll be trying again.

Second of all, I want you to remember what I said earlier this year, about every one finding their place in the world. I'm not sure how much of it you heard, because you were a bit preoccupied swinging around town and doing stuff, but I'll assume you got most of it. I meant every word, Peter. I really did. Even if your place isn't the same as mine, it's still yours. Embrace it. Find the good in it. Don't get all pessimistic and hate something because I'm not there. I don't want to put you through that. So, for the both of us, try to be an optimist for a bit. Even if it stings.

Lastly, and most importantly, you can't put Spidey away. You can't. You have done too much good and saved too many lives to ever get rid of him. The day may come when he's disappointed you, and that will suck. But you just have to power through it. Roll with the punches. As much as I love you, what you do for others is what I admire the most about you. You simply cannot not care. You wouldn't have stuck around me for so long if could.

Okay, I lied. I have more to say. I want to say thank you. I know I might have said it before in a million different ways, but in case I don't get to do it in person, thank you. Thank you for the time you have spent with me, whether it was good or bad or terrible or maybe even amazing. Thank you for it all. I'll admit, sometimes I wondered how on earth I got so lucky to find someone who will love me for the loud mouth I am. And even though you're an idiot sometimes, you're my idiot at least for now, and knowing that makes me happy. 

So even if we go our different ways, I want you to know that I'll feel safe knowing that you're the one taking care of the world. And even when I'm gone, I hope you know that I'll always be with you, supporting you and everything you do, even if you don't want me to. I'll leave with so much spare support and love that I won't know what to do with it. I'll send it from Yale if I have to. I'll send it over oceans and deserts. Just know that it's there. So if you ever feel alone, or sad, or scared, just know that there's a bit of me with you. I can only hope that makes it better.

Find your place. It might not be with me, but it'll be yours. Make it a good one.

I love you, Bug Boy. And I'll always mean it.

Callie