Losing Faith

𝟑𝟓

"Why are the roots of a tree?" Draco asked uncomprehendingly, closing the diary.

Her sloppy handwriting, crooked lines were still spinning in his head, and to drive away the weight of what he had read, he decided to focus on the roots of the tree.

It caught on his thoughts, disturbing — after all, he had found the diary in the forbidden forest.

"What?" Theodore asked, coming out of the stupor of his thoughts, he blinked blankly a couple of times, looking questioningly at the blond.

"I found the diary in the forbidden forest, in a hollow tree. I thought that was where she was hiding it."

"Maybe she confused something? Maybe that night she brought it to the forest? She was fucking drunk, Draco, why are you dwelling on this?" Theo muttered as he got out of bed. Something in his tone changed, and the way his teeth were nervously tugging at his lower lip made Draco frown.

"Because maybe everything was revealed and ended, but the oddities do not end. Don't you think there might be something... more here?" Draco stood behind his friend, looking at the back of his head, trying to convince him that he was right. He was already beginning to be tormented by the fact that it seemed to him that he was going crazy, clinging to the smallest details that did not give him peace.

"Like what?" Theodore asked thoughtfully, still standing with his back to Draco, his eyes were focused on their boarded-up window.

"She said that she hid the diary in the roots of the tree where we spent almost every day. She also said that she heard someone's footsteps. But Anderson said it happened in the forbidden forest. So whose footsteps did she hear? And why was the diary in the forest?" Draco reasoned, trying not to betray nervousness in his tense and slightly trembling voice.

Maybe everything was really much easier than he thought? Maybe there was nothing strange and important hidden behind these inconsistencies? Maybe Draco was just so desperate not to let Faith and the case of her murder go that he was clinging to any chance to continue this?

Draco couldn't tell, but he knew that he could be left alone in this again if Theodore didn't take his guesses into account.

"I know it's weird and suspicious, but don't you think we can't find out?" The brunet said after a few seconds of thoughtful silence, his body slowly turned, meeting Malfoy's puzzled gaze, and he weakly shook his head as a sign that this was a doomed matter.

"Don't you think that only Faith can know that? We don't have any leads, and anyway, why can't you accept the fact that it's over? Anderson is already in Azkaban, he is guilty and he confessed. What difference does it make whose footsteps she heard near that tree or how her diary ended up in the forest?"

He took a step forward, trying to make sure that there was conviction and reassurance in his eyes, so that Draco would understand that it didn't matter, so that he would leave it behind and continue living his life, for himself, and not for Faith, who already didn't care about it.

"Draco, leave it, you won't be able to find out more than we already know." His hand then rested on his shoulder, and he let out a sigh of relief when he saw defeat in the grey eyes.

"I know," Draco sighed resignedly, closing his eyes, "I know, Nott, you're right, I just— I just can't think rationally, I just don't know what to do now."

"Live, mate. You have just to live now." Theodore patted him gently on the shoulder and smiled faintly, sitting down wearily on his bed.

That day seemed incredibly long to him, starting from the second he woke up after two hours of sleep, and ending with Dumbledore handing him Faith's hair clip, calmly telling him the news about the funnel and that Faith's body might not even exist anymore.

His hands went to his temples in an attempt to calm the unpleasant tingling, and as soon as he allowed himself to relax in the darkness of his closed eyelids, there was a soft knock on the door, after which Pansy entered the room.

"It was lying outside, in front of the door to the common room." She said, clearing her throat as she approached Draco, handing him the letter. "Probably from your parents."

"Who else could it be from..." He mumbled, frowning. The smooth parchment felt somehow heavy and there seemed to be fear, sadness, nervousness from it when he took the letter from Pansy's hands.

He threw it on the bed, not wanting to see what his parents wanted to tell him with this. Most likely it was condolences over Faith's death, or maybe questions about his condition after his dive into the lake, in any case, he had no desire to read it now.

"How are you? Both of you." The girl asked, carefully sitting on the edge of Draco's bed. She hadn't had a chance to talk to any of them since Professor Anderson had confessed to what he'd done to Faith.

She felt a bitterness, a heaviness in her heart from the impossibility of not thinking about Faith and the terrible things she had been through for even a minute.

"As terrible as it can be." After a long silence, when it seemed that no one was going to say anything, Draco spoke, again picking up the letter from his parents.

He was really bothered by the energy coming from this folded sheet of dark brown parchment, with his name neatly written on it.
In his head, he smiled unkindly at his strange feelings — after all, everything that day seemed strange to him.

"Me too." Pansy whispered, tugging at the hem of her skirt. "Even taking into account the fact that... the guilty person has already been put in prison, I still have fear when I am left alone. And have you even seen Nicole? It's like she died too, inside, it's a terrible sight."

"They were even more than best friends, of course she would look like that." Theo spoke from his bed, looking at his hands clenched into fists. "And the fact that she saw the moment when he killed Faith doesn't make the situation any better."

"What an asshole he is after all. I don't understand how anyone can be so disgusting and terrible as to do such a thing." Pansy said indignantly, wrinkling her nose — she felt that they were in the mood for a conversation, and gave free rein to her emotions and thoughts that had been lurking in her head all this time.

"I can't even imagine what Faith might have felt at that moment. It's all so scary, especially to realize that this happened right under our noses."

"Maybe Faith was too drunk to feel or realize anything. Anderson said she could barely stand on her feet."

"Theo, I still don't understand, how—"

"He won't explain anything to you either, what you are interested in can only be known by Faith, isn't it, Nott?" Draco interrupted their little conversation, already feeling tired, his hands, which had just been holding the letter, now finally unfolded the paper, which met him in his mother's neat handwriting.

There were only a couple of lines written there, but it made Draco jump out of bed, puzzling Theo and Pansy.

"What the fuck." He whispered, reading over and over again what Narcissa had written as she was hoping for a quick return from him.

"What is it?" Pansy got up after him, frowning. The shock and horror she saw on his face made her heart clench uneasily.

Draco scanned the lines one more time before his hands crumpled the paper and his jaw clenched tightly.

"It says here that my father was put in Azkaban."