Cursed

࿏ Chapter Fifteen ࿏

Hayden

I wake up right before a nightmare can sink its claws into my mind. I've had them ever since I was a kid but they seem to be getting progressively worse the last few months. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and try to adjust to the dimly lit room. Sunlight is peeking through the cracks of my blinds that are starting to disintegrate. It takes me a minute to remember that Rory should be in bed next to me. But I'm alone.

Fuck. Where is she? In my hurry to turn a lamp on I knock over several bottles of beer and an ashtray with half smoked blunts in it. God damn it. Even with the light on there's no sign of Rory. I hang my head in my hands and drag my nails along my scalp. I can't believe she's gone. All the agony of being abandoned creeps into my body like a slowly spreading virus. It's this darkness that I try to suppress with drugs. The darkness that I know one day will destroy me if I can't get it under control. More importantly it will destroy her. Like the devil on my shoulder I'm reminded of the heroin I still have left in my box under the bathroom sink. Just one hit and then I'll figure out what happened. One hit and I'll have the courage to face the reason why she left me.

"Good morning!"

The sing-songy sound of her voice breaks through the shadows forming. I jump up and rush to hold her. She buries her face in my neck. I want to tell her that I was scared, that I thought she had left me, just like everyone else. But I can't speak those words out loud, let alone show her any of my insecurities. Or how close I was to doing drugs with her right in the same house. I can't let her see me like this. If she knows the truth she will run and never look back.

"There's my girl. Did you have a good time last night?"

"It was more than a good time. Hayden, I think I'm falling in love with you too."

Her words catch me off guard. Even though I told her I love her no more than twenty-four hours ago, I still feel shocked to hear that she returns those feelings. I love you. Those three words that I never heard from my parents, or any single person in my life. Those words that have been incoherently slurred into my ear as I've callously fucked many women. Words that never had any meaning at all, before Rory came into my life.

"Are-are you sure?"

I manage to stutter out the words. She reaches up and holds my face in her hands. Bringing her lips to mine, she attempts to reassure me with her kiss.

"Yes I am."

I return her sweet kiss with a passionate one. I have to show her how grateful I am for her love. I have to make her understand that she's a part of me now. That there's no going back now. I slow down my kisses and look into her eyes. She sees that I've become serious and she takes a few steps back to sit down on the bed.

"I know what you're about to say Hayden, and the answer is yes."

"Are you sure you're ready for this? You're a virgin Rory, and it will hurt at first."

"I can't imagine doing it with anyone else but you. It has to be you."

"At any point you can tell me if you want me to stop."

"I will."

"After this our love will be deeper than either of us can possibly comprehend. I want to make sure you're ready for that. To be, one. With me?"

Instead of answering she starts to take off my belt and unbutton my jeans that I was too tired to take off last night. If she doesn't know what she wants then she's very good at pretending. When she finishes I help her by pulling the fabric down over my legs. Now that I'm just in my black boxer briefs, my crotch is so swollen it looks like it's trying to break through the fabric. I smooth the back of my hair down with my hand and try not to make eye contact with Rory, who's staring at me like she's never seen a man before. Her eyes travel from my erection to my face and then back down.