Cursed

❀Chapter Twenty❀

Aurora

This has been the fastest four weeks of my life! I thought to myself while checking the calendar app on my phone. Not only have I been living with Hayden for a month but I've also missed the date I was supposed to begin my internship in Des Moines. I've been so consumed by my relationship that I don't even know what day it is. For some reason I'm not as upset about that as I should be. I glance over at Hayden who's doing some push-ups on the floor next to me. There's nothing better than this, us just hanging out together. Living life, side by side. I love him with every part of me.

I've only gone home to grab more clothes and participate in the occasional family dinner. My dad trusts that whatever I'm up to is fine but my mom has started texting me more. She's been asking questions on my whereabouts and I've been evading them pretty successfully.

Life is so good with Hayden. Other than the jogs he's been going on in the middle of the night, we spend every waking moment together. Whenever I ask him where he jogs too he always tells me he's just blowing off steam and that I shouldn't worry about it. I assure him that I'm not worried. I just hate waking up to an empty bed. I've been getting panic attacks in the middle of the night because of it. But I don't want him to know how it's affecting me so I keep my problems to myself.

One night I woke up because I was feeling anxious and had trouble breathing. I was too overwhelmed to find some weed to smoke so I texted Hayden to come home right away and thankfully he did. He was so sorry to have caused my anxiety to flare up like that and kept apologizing while he stroked my head.

"How about this? Next time I go for a jog I will put that big teddy bear in bed next to you. If you get frightened in the middle of the night, just squeeze him and I'll be back before you know it."

I was grateful for his kindness but there's a part of me that still wonders where he goes and what he's doing. Although at this point it's been going on for weeks now, so I'm starting to get used to it. I have my boyfriend all day and at night he has alone time. At least that's how I've been rationalizing it in my mind.

After an evening of playing pool and doing shots at the bar, we stumble back to Hayden's apartment. We both agree that we are too drunk and too tired to have sex so we collapse on his bed and both fall asleep immediately. Tonight is the first time we haven't had sex since we started dating. I realize right as I close my eyes and drift off.

Aurora's Dream

My naked body is being caressed in an ocean of red satin sheets. I turn my head from side to side, all I see is miles of bedding in every direction. I swim in it, feeling the euphoria of my skin against nothing but satin. The moon and the sun rise and set overhead. But I'm still swimming in the sheets. Beads of perspiration build on my upper lip and temple. I become aware of another body besides my own. Two hands reach out from deep within the red waves. I want to be scared but a voice in my head tells me there is nothing to fear. The hands extend to a forearm and then an elbow. By the muscular tone and look of them I can tell they belong to a very strong man. I roll onto my back and the hands slowly glide up my thighs. They pull back the sheets that are covering my body, leaving me naked and exposed. My wet sweat mixes with the breeze sending goosebumps all over my skin. I close my eyes and tip my head back while the hands work their way up and around my full hips. I want them to go there. To touch me where I'm wet and throbbing. I'm ready for this mysterious pleasure. I want him to enter me, riding my body into an oblivion of orgasms. But instead he uses his hands to spread my folds wide open. With one finger he finds my clit and rolls the sensitive skin around like a ball under his fingertips. My toes curl as my arousal sends me into a fiery blaze of passion. His other fingers rub up and down the sides of me while his thumb maintains pressure on my clit. I'm dripping wet for him. His hands still pin down my folds but now his tongue licks me right where his thumb used to be. My eyes are squeezed shut as I come closer to exploding in his mouth. I never think to open my eyes and see who is giving me satisfaction. Instead I put both of my hands by his face and grind myself deeper into him. He moans and I know he's loving it just as much as I am. His tongue and hands move faster in all directions at once. The satin sheets bunch up underneath me as I ride the wave of my orgasm after orgasm. My body is encompassed in a golden glow. I'm aware of my body shedding it's skin like a snake. I'm becoming something else. Someone else. My eyes open right as I metamorphosis into the Goddess herself. "Aphrodite!" I whisper with excitement. I look down to see the man who has assisted me in realizing my true form. It's Zachery!

"Babe, you're hogging all the blankets."

It's just me and Hayden in bed together. No red sheets. No Zachery. The dream is over. When I look down at my arms they're their normal human flesh color. That dream felt so real! I give Hayden more of the purple comforter. Now that he's satisfied with the amount of blanket he has, he rolls back over snoring himself back to sleep.

I try my best to sleep but the vision from my dream is too strong. I feel like it's trying to tell me something but I don't know what. I find it incredibly strange to have Zachery appear in my dream after all this time of wondering what happened to him. This can't be a coincidence.

I give up on sleep and go into the living room to roll a joint. I sit back on the couch watching the tendrils of smoke curling through the air. Could I really be a goddess? That is the question echoing in the back of my mind. I would've thought any sex dreams I would have would be about Hayden considering he is a master of all things kinky. I never would consider Zach to be more than a good friend, but unfortunately he left so quickly that even our friendship didn't even have time to develop. I've been so consumed with Hayden since Zach left.

There's something about that thought that disturbs me. I briefly recall learning something about codependent relationships in my high school psychology class, but that couldn't be happening to me. Could it? Could I be in a toxic relationship?

Even though it's midnight I decide that there's no point in sleeping with Hayden until I can get my head straight on some things. I know he's going to leave for his nightly jog soon anyway. I grab a pen and write a note to him on a scrap of paper nearby. At least he won't worry about where I am when he wakes up.

It feels uncomfortable to be packing up all my stuff and leaving the safe cocoon of Hayden's apartment. I haven't left here in over a month. Hopefully my parents won't be mad at me when I show up at their house after all this time of sneaking around. I start my car and turn on the radio. The band Halestorm screams at me.

"I've been a mess since you stayed. I've been a wreck since you changed. Don't let me get in your way. I miss the lies and the pain. The fights that keep us awake. I'm telling you. I miss the bad things. The way you hate me. I miss the screaming. The way that you blame me. Miss the phone calls. When it's your fault. I miss the late nights. Don't miss you at all."

The tears start swelling in my eyes. How did I get in so deep with Hayden so quickly? Driving away from him with no explanation is going to infuriate him. I know this. I can't help but feel like I'm being deceived by him. There's definitely things he's not telling me. Has my love for Hayden blinded me to my own reality?

After a ten minute drive I'm all the way across town and pulling into my parents' familiar driveway lined with pine trees. It feels good to be home. I'm just about to call out to my parents when my phone dings ten times in a row. He knows I'm gone.