Cursed

❀Chapter Sixteen❀

Aurora

I've been staring at the bumpy texture of Hayden's ceiling for about an hour before I finally decide to get up. My phone says it's five in the morning. I wish that I could keep sleeping but my body is used to waking up early to prepare for school. Wiping my eyes I reach a hand out to feel Hayden in the bed next to me. My hand is met with soft sheets and an empty bed. Hayden is gone. I try to bring back happy memories of cuddling Hayden from last night, but I can't shake this weird feeling.

(no subject)

Where are you?

After I send the text I force myself to choose to remain calm and decide that I need to find something to occupy myself with. That way my over active mind doesn't run wild with ideas about all of the terrible things that could've happened. I'm not sure when Hayden will be back, he isn't responding to my message but I tell myself it can't be that big of a deal. I step into the bathroom after deciding that a hot bath is exactly what my sore muscles need. I've played sports in school but the type of soreness that I'm currently experiencing is much worse in comparison. Muscles that have long been unused were required to keep me balanced precariously from the handcuffs while Hayden devoured my body. As I watch the steaming hot water fill the tub I get flashbacks from last night.

His tattooed arms holding me while he thrust deep inside me. Even when it hurt there was still an arousal with the pain. I know that no one will ever make me feel right on the edge of danger and pleasure like him. I can already feel myself becoming addicted to it in a way that even I don't completely understand. Having never experienced this level of pleasure before, I am but a student in his world of sexs and kinks. And after last night I know that he is a master at it.

The bath is starting to overflow so I quickly turn it off. As I stand up to take my clothes off, my mind is swarming with a multitude of paranoid thoughts. Where is he? Was the sex bad? Maybe he went to get off with some other girl because having sex with me was awful? Am I attractive enough for him? Am I too fat? Why hasn't he texted me back yet? Did he change his mind about loving me? Did I just give my virginity away for nothing? And then comes the worst most terrifying thought of all. Was all of it a lie?

"Stop!"

I yell out loud at myself and cover my ears with my hands. Everything gets quiet and I can finally hear something besides my own thoughts. It's the pitter pattering sound of rainfall. I didn't realize it was raining before because the windows in Hayden's bedroom are glued shut. But the one in the bathroom isn't. The window sill is shiny and wet from the rain that's been slowly coming in all night. I walk over to close it when I notice a dark figure laying on the ground in the bushes across the street. There's a mountain bike in the grass beside it. Could it be him?

I scramble to put my clothes back on and rush out the door. The dim light of dawn is keeping me from being seen but I'm still nervous as I venture into a strangers yard without permission. I get low and crawl over to the figure slumped over in the bush. My heart is beating faster than I can handle.

"Oh my god."

"Hayden please wake up!"

"Please, Hayden!"

I push on his chest, making a weak attempt at CPR. After I take a few deep breaths, I remember I have my phone in my pocket. I start dialing 911. All of a sudden his hand reaches out. He grabs the phone from me and hangs up before the emergency call can be completed. He barely looks at me before he slumps back on the ground.

"Rory, help me."

I put his arm over my shoulder to take on some of his body weight as we move haphazardly across the street to his apartment. Once I've got him safely inside, I direct our bodies towards the bathroom where the bath is still warm for me. Hayden is too weak so I have to help him undress. When I take off his shirt I notice lots of purple and blue veins coming from a bruise on his arm. I want to ask him what happened and where he was, but from the sickly color of his skin I feel like it's best to wait. After struggling with his clothes I manage to get him naked and in the bath. I keep my arms in the tub to hold him up. His head is resting on my shoulder. I can't help the tears swell in my eyes. We sit there silently as I cry onto the top of his head.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I grab the washcloth and wipe dirt off his neck. Once his body is clean I grab shampoo and begin to wash his hair. There's all sorts of sticks and leaves matted through the brown waves.

"You don't have to do this for me Ro."

"Shhhhh It's ok. You're safe now. I'm going to take care of you."

He closes his eyes, relief spreads over his face, and leans further into me as I wash his hair. Careful not to get any soap in his eyes. As I continue to clean Hayden, I notice that the color is finally returning to his skin. He seems to be gaining more consciousness as well. He closes and opens his eyes while mumbling something that I can't understand. Then his eyes flash open wide.

"What happened to you out there?'

"I saw something, Ro. Something that truly scared me...and I don't scare easily."

His fear causes his body to tense up. I look down at where my arm is suddenly stinging, where Hayden's fingertips are digging into my skin.

"It's ok. It's ok. We don't have to talk about it. Let's get you to bed and you can just rest."

He looks up at me wide-eyed like a child. It must have been something horrific to make him react this way. He slowly gets out of the bath and stands on the mat, water pours off his lean muscular body. Even in his panic he still looks so beautiful. I use a towel to dry him off. Then we both go to his bed and hold each other tightly under the big purple comforter.

"Please don't leave me."

"I won't leave you Hayden."

My assurance was all that he needed to finally relax and fall asleep. I want to sleep too but the image of Hayden's wide eyed stare is still burning in my mind. Even though I want to know more, I can recognize that whatever it was has deeply traumatized him. Even with Hayden in the bed next to me, my mind is buzzing like a beehive. I need to roll a joint.

I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. There's an array of rolling papers, trays, grinders and weed in front of me. I manage to find a half smoked joint that Hayden had rolled the other night. One deep inhalation of the smoke and the crushing waves of my anxiety begin to calm. I lean back on the couch as I try to organize the series of events from the past few hours. Finally I can think.

He seemed so happy after we had sex. So content to just be with me. I know that this is what he wants, he has been pursuing me for so long. However there are some serious red flags that I can no longer ignore. What happened with Zachery? Does Hayden's disappearance last night have something to do with why Zach will no longer hang out with us? I take another big drag off the joint and blow smoke rings into the room.

I can't deny that I'm in love with Hayden. I will have to show him that he can open up to me about everything. That whatever secrets he's keeping are secure with me. No matter what he's hiding, it can't possibly be that bad. We can make this work. I can make this work. Having made up my mind, I decide it's time for some rest. I get up to return to the bed and join Hayden who's still curled up under the blanket. His snores are so loud that I don't think I will be able to sleep but laying down with the man that I love is all I need to feel at ease and drift off.