To have and to Hold

manipulations

It felt really strange for Rachel when returned back to England to her usual life.

Suddenly everything seemed smaller and more closed in than before.

She started to realise it wasn't so much that everything was different, but that she was different.

Her week with Adam in Rome had changed her whole perspective of her surroundings, in a way she knew they would never be the same again.

She had found herself thinking a lot about the evening before when he had kissed her. She was more shocked with herself because she had actually enjoyed it. But she supposed it was a good thing in one way, if they were going to be married.

It would have been so much harder to deal with if it had been an unpleasant experience

After her volatile relationship with Gary, she had found herself avoiding any real physical or romantic relationships with men over the years. She was convinced that after what had happened to her, it had left her mind and body mentally scarred from ever enjoying that kind of thing.

The fact it not the case, when Adam had kissed her, made her realise perhaps she was finally starting to heal from that terrible time in her life, and that the physical side of their relationship might work..

It had been one of her main concerns, she was worried she would not be able to cope with, and one she had been avoiding thinking about until that moment.

She wasn't sure exactly what Adam's thoughts were on their kiss.

The following day, they had been too occupied getting ready for their departure and returning home. He had been constantly on the phone, catching up on business now he was going back. Although, when they sat in the plane he did hold her hand again, even though she assured him she wasn't as terrified when the plane was taking of, as she had been.

They had arrived in back in England and he drove her safely her back to her flat. She insisted she could manage her suitcases fine, not wanting him to see inside her humble little abode in case he turned his nose up at it

So he had given her the briefest of kisses on the cheek, and then told her he would phone her soon.

It had felt weird being on her own in the flat alone again.

She had been so used to his company and having him around all week. She now realised the whole experience of being with him constantly had made such an impact on her, that she was almost missing him not being there with her.

But shaking it of as being ridiculous, she occupied herself with other things, getting in touch with Jean and the others at the Women Refuge, Catching up on how everything was going, and checking if they had the new premises all sorted out.

But still, when Adam finally contacted her over the phone a few days later she felt a warm twinge of unexpected pleasure when she heard the familiarity of voice again

"Hello Rachel, I am just phoning you to let you know, you will probably have to wear that nice uniform I got you last week, duty calls"

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, her pleasure quickly evaporating, to be replaced by uneasiness

"Well I have arranged for you to meet my father on Friday evening. It's time you got to meet the family, so I am giving you plenty of time to prepare yourself"

"You think giving me few days, is plenty of time?" Rachel exclaimed horrified at the thought, "Can't you leave it at least for another few weeks?"

"Well, I have already told my father to expect us, he is looking forward to meeting you,"