To have and to Hold

Topsey Turvey Land

"Rach.. I am a little confused," Jean Whitley spoke over the phone the next day, "I just got a call from Adam Maxwell's office telling me that we should pay a visit to his office by the end of the week. That we can sign the lease and contracts on the new premises he found for us"

"Ah yes, that would be right," Rachel replied

"But I thought he was only going to let us have them if you agreed to marry him, did you get him to change his mind?"

"Not exactly," Rachel trailed off with a certain reluctance, not sure how she was going to break the news to Jean, "Actually, I was the one who changed my mind"

"What?" Jean demanded, wondering if she had heard right

"Well the more I thought about it, it seemed the right thing to do," Rachel told her

"What, marrying a man who you hardly know?"

" Well now I will have all the time to know him better," Rachel pointed out

"But last night you talked as if he was the last person you wanted to be with" Jean pointed out in bewilderment.

"Well, like I said, I changed my mind"

Jean paused, "You don't have to do this, I told you, we can find another way"

"I know, but there might not be another way, I can't let the Refuge close. What would happen to all those women that need us?" Rachel replied, "Trust me Jean, I know what I am doing; everything will be ok," she then tried to reassure her

Jean sighed heavily at the other end of the line, "I can't believe you are going to go through with this, are you sure? He didn't force you into changing your mind?" she then asked in concern

"No, that was not the reason, in fact he was expecting me to say no, and was very apologetic," Rachel replied, "I guess I just realised that maybe it I was a bit hasty in rejecting his offer, the more I thought about it, the more it started to appeal to me"

"And does Adam Maxwell appeal to you?" Jean then asked

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well c'mon Rach, the man wants you to have his kids. You are going to be getting more than a little intimate with him. You do realise that don't you?" Jean demanded

"Yes, of course I do, I am not stupid," Rachel replied

"Well how do you feel about it?"

"Well I haven't given it that much thought yet, to be honest," Rachel admitted uneasily

"Well I think you had better, just so you realise you know what exactly you are letting yourself in for. He is not going to be happy marrying you, then you suddenly finding you are physically turned off by each other?"

"Well he would hardly ask me to marry him and have his children if he didn't think he could share his bed with me," Rachel pointed out

"True I guess, but what about you? Would you be happy sharing his bed?"

"Well like you pointed out last night, he is not exactly unattractive," Rachel replied defensively, " Anyway, I'll jump that hurdle when I come to it"

"Just as long as you know what you are doing," Jean said, still not convinced

"I do, and I am sure everything will be fine," Rachel told her, uncertain if he was trying to reassure her friend, or herself.

But any doubts or worries Rachel felt, were banished a few days later when she had the chance to show her friend the new premises Adam had offered them. The expression on Jean's face alone made it all seem worthwhile.