To have and to Hold

Good, and not so good stuff going on

With his elbow propped up on his pillow, and his chin resting on his cupped palm, Adam's brown eyes lazily rested on the sleeping form of Rachel the following morning, as she lay next to him in their bed

He wasn't sure when it happened. When she had come to mean so much to him. Perhaps deep down, he could trace it way back to the first time of their meeting when she had confronted him over the Woman's Refuge, and had challenged him.

There had been that spark in her hazel eyes, a spark that had intrigued him like no other female had been able to do.

The spark that had ignited something within him, which had led him wanting to see her again, also to prove to her that the bad opinion she had of him was wrong, and she could trust him.

Why that had mattered at the time, he wasn't sure.

He realised now, that it had more or less subconsciously led to him manoeuvre the events that led him to proposing her, and make her his

It had been a big risk, there had been so many differences to over come. But he was a business man, and risks where part and parcel of what he had to take if he wanted something bad enough. So he had taken the business man's approach that she just happen to more or less suit his purposes.

There was no way he would admit that his feelings for her was based on something stronger. Partly because he was uncertain himself of what was going on.

She had so easily been able to mess with his head and heart, without even trying very hard, and seemed blissfully unaware of it.

At that time he was not in a position to accept it.

Being cautious, and having harden his own heart after his own personal loss of his family and the betrayal of his first wife, he had not been particularly looking to fall in love.

He had been honest, and told her that. But it was something he had come to regret later, after she had questioned his motives when he had told her he did care for her.

He guessed it was probably on the night of their wedding he really became aware of how much he cared about her. Seeing her so vulnerable and upset, all he had wanted to do was take care of her. It had crumbled that uncaring façade he had thought he had built up around himself into dust.

The final turning point had been when he realised he had started to gain her trust, and hopefully her heart . When she had stopped looking him with wary suspicion, and there was a warmth in her eyes for him, even if she did not want to admit it openly.

That was until last night, especially after she told him what Liz had said.

It was then he decided that if everyone else thought they were in love, it was crazy that they shouldn't finally admit it to themselves, and that they had come to mean more to each other now.

He was just glad he had manage convinced Rachel also in the end.

She had been so prickly and defensive with him, ready to think bad of him again. But he knew, and understood why.

After all his past conduct in forcing her into marrying him, had to make her suspicious of his motives. But hopefully given her the reassurance she needed it certainly wasn't through the want of trying.

As he watched her sleeping next him now, he was pleased to see she was looking very contented. He couldn't resist bending over to kiss her, first her cheek, his mouth sliding lightly down to her lips

She stirred with a small sigh, and finally opened her eyes to find Adam leaning over, smiling as his brown eyes examining her face, as if trying to absorb every inch of it now that he could.