I Told You I Want to Die

C10

Woohyun expected to have a nightmare that night but everything was peaceful. He opened the windows in the living room so that the cold air could easily get in. He felt cold but he didn't mind. He felt cold enough without Sunggyu in his house.

Despite the cold facade that Sunggyu kept, Woohyun was able to see through. He tucked hinself under his blankets as he thought of the tired smiles that Sunggyu once gave him and the rapid rise and fall of Sunggyu's chest when he's out of breath. Woohyun drifted into a deep sleep with an image of Sunggyu's  closed eyes.

Woohyun walked through the beach of an unknown paradise. The white sand covered his toes. He had a tiny scratch on his neck. But when the sand covered it, the scratch was magically healed.Woohyun took some of the sand in his hand. It was soft and was like fine powder.

Woohyun was wearing his favorite boxers, a tee that he hasn't worn for so long, and a straw hat. He felt at peace. Just then, he saw someone walking towards him from the other end of the beach. He recognized the black boots and pants and most especially the smug smile. Woohyun smiled and jogged towards the stranger.

But he wasn't a stranger. Woohyun gasped when Sunggyu hugged him.

"I'm surprised to see you here." Sunggyu said, as if he owned and lived in the place.

"Well, you're here. Where else would I be?" Woohyun said. He saw Sunggyu blush. But a frown formed on Sunggyu's lips.

"But you're not dead. I am. You shouldn't be here." Sunggyu said.

Woohyun awoke from the dream. No, a nightmare. He expected to have one but nevertheless, his heart beat hadly against his chest. Sunggyu couldn't be dead. He couldn't be, Woohyun thought. Why would he be dead?

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" he recalled. He remembered running out in his pajamas. He saw Sunggyu's sad eyes once again.

Woohyun's eyes widened. He pulled his hair and screamed. He doesn't want to experience another heartbreak.

"Another heartbreak..." he muttered as tears flowed out of his eyes. Tears that he didn't think of crying out. Tears that he didn't know he could give to a man that just barged his way into his life and somehow healed him.

Everything was happening to him in a rush that he didn't have the time to process everything properly. He just knew that he had to contact Sunggyu as soon as possible.

He grabbed his phone that he kept in his bedside drawer and called Hoya. He saved Hoya's number once when Sunggyu had one of his attacks. Sunggyu didn't know that he took his phone.

He was answered after the second ring. "Hello?" Woohyun said.

A sigh was exhaled on the other side. Woohyun felt fear. "Hello." Hoya said in a tired voice.

"Is Sunggyu with you?" Woohyun asked. He felt his heart race in his chest. He could almost hear it.

"Yes." Hoya whispered. Something's wrong, Woohyun thought. Fresh tears poured out of his eyes.

"You are such an asshole. You destroyed him completely. He was perfectly fine before." Hoya continued. Woohun fell silent.  "Who the hell are you to take his beautiful life away?" Hoya said then hung up.

Chills ran through Woohyun's body. Hoya spoke in such a calm manner. He even thought that the man was going crazy too. Maybe he did. But it's harder for him. There was guilt, selfishness, hate for himself, regret, sadness, and anger all combined to tear him apart.

You are such an asshole. He knows.

You destroyed him completely. He gave me life in exchange for his.

He was perfectly fine before. He should've let me die on the rooftop.

Who the hell are you to take his beautiful life away? I'm a murderer.

"I'm sorry..." Woohyun cried. But he didn't know if it was for Sunggyu or for himself.

                     ------------

Hoya ran out of his car and towards Sunggyu's body. A little pool of blood surrounded his head. Hoya was immediately overwhelmed by the fear of losing zsunggyu. He quickly called 911. He surprised himself by speaking calmly on the phone. The ambulance came 10 minutes later. The paramedics took Sunggyu on a gurney and into the ambulance. Not much attention was given to the driver because he wasn't injured. Hoya followed the ambulance to the hospital. He called Sunggyu's father and told him the news. He hung up quickly. Just then, his phone rang. He just saw a number but he answered.

He heard a shaky hello. He recognized the voice. "Hello." he said in a tired voice.

"Is Sunggyu with you?" Woohyun asked. How dare you ask about him? Hoya wanted to say. Sunggyu's not fucking yours.

"Yes." he whispered. Until now, he's somewhat filled with an unnatural calmness that he didn't know he had in him.

"You are such an asshole. You destroyed him completely. He was perfectly fine before." Hoya continued. Woohyun fell silent on the other end.  "Who the hell are you to take his beautiful life away?" Hoya said lastly. Somehow he knew that Woohyun's crying. His own tears fell from his eyes. He hung up before Woohyun could explain. Sorrow overwhelmed him. It's because of Woohyun that Sunggyu's life is more at risk. Hoya will never forgive him for that.

"Are you a relative of the patient?" a nurse asked him. He looked ahead, ignoring the nurse. She repeated the question but Hoya didn't answer. But once he caught sight of Sunggyu being treated by two doctors and several nurses, he snapped back to life. He ran towards Sunggyu but the nurse held him back.

"I have to know he's okay," Hoya said. The nurse looked at him with sad eyes. "I have to know he's okay!" he yelled. This caught the attention of several men nurses and they took Hoya away.

"We know, sir. He's already being treated. He's going to be okay." a nurse said, as if reading from a script. Just then, Hoya saw other nurses taking Sunggyu away.

"Where are they going to take him?!" Hoya asked in a frantic voice.

"He's going to the ICU, sir. He's going to live." a nurse replied. Hoya felt a little relieved but taking Sunggyu to the ICU doesn't mean it's over yet.

When Hoya seemed to cool down, the nurses left him. He walked sluggishly towards the waiting area and sat on an available chair. A few minutes later, a group of men dressed in suits approached him. Hoya knew that hidden within the group of men is Sunggyu's father.

"How is he?" Mr. Kim asked.

"He's taken to the ICU." Hoya answered. Mr. Kim just nodded. He sat on a chair and sighed.

"Please leave us for a moment," he ordered. Hoya sat on the chair beside him. "I wouldn't know what to do if I lose him." Mr. Kim confessed.

Hoya looked at him and just listened. "First was his mother. And now," Mr. Kim paused to sigh, "he's close to the edge again."

Out of the corner of his eye, Hoya saw Woohyun running around the waiting area. Woohyun had a very worried expression on his face. He ran in all directions until he caught sight of Hoya. He stopped just a few meters from him. Hoya decided that he won't tell Woohyun that Sunggyu is still alive. He excused himself and approached Woohyun. Before Woohyun could even ask, Hoya spoke.

"He's dead." he simply said.

AN: This is dedicated to moetint. Thanks for the message :)