I Told You I Want to Die

C3

Staring into Woohyun's eyes made sense to Sunggyu. He guessed that it was too early to admit, but Woohyun's stare alone connected all of the scattered pieces of his soul. Everything just... jumped into place. He knew this feeling. He felt it during his school days--falling in and out of love with a girl in his batch. She made him feel loved and complete but never with just one look. One word. It was always through homemade lunch, scented letters and sweet kisses. He always fell in and out of their relationship but he never made her notice. She was perfectly--blissfully--happy with what they had.

Woohyun is different. His eyes mirrored Sunggyu's sadness. They sent millions of messages that only said "I know". Sunggyu felt relief, like he finally understood himself. Why he's living the life that he has. Why he's attached to a breathing equipment. Why he's wearing those black clothes. But at the same time, he felt that all of these feelings are sort of rushed. It all felt like the tv dramas that he sometimes watches. He remembered all of the cheesy lines; "Being here with you makes me complete." or "It was love at first sight." The fact that what he felt for Woohyun seemed more than what it seems scared the hell out of him. Their connection wasn't just of that invisible sympathy. But he didn't want to surrender to the truth yet. He didn't want to throw himself into Woohyun's world. He created a barrier to remind him that he was just there to help Woohyun get back on his feet. His personal interests are not a priority.

"Get away from me." Woohyun whispered. Sunggyu snapped out of his trance. Woohyun's eyes now only screamed 'Get away'. Sunggyu stepped back and waited patiently for any possible reaction. His heart raced in his chest, but he felt calm. He breathed normally. Woohyun sat up and stood. He gave Sunggyu one look.

"Whoever you are, just get the fuck out. Go through the door, window, whatever. Just get out." he said. He rubbed his eyes and walked out of the room. Sunggyu stood beside his bed, quite shocked with Woohyun's actions. He expected him to go wild; he dreamt of punches, kicks and loud curses before he went there. He couldn't help but widen his eyes. Woohyun slammed the door though.

Seeing Woohyun like this, all of the realization that Sunggyu had when he looked into Woohyun's eyes vanished like a popped bubble. An unknown anger rose in his chest and made him breathe like crazy.

Sunggyu didn't have his nasal cannula with him.

He immediately searched for a plastic or paper bag in Woohyun's room. When he didn't find any, he went into the closet. Its size was half of the bedroom. Sunggyu even found the time to notice that everything was in complete order. No dirty clothes strewn on the carpet floor or unknown items hidden all the way behind the racks. Several brown boxes were placed in a row under the one rack. Sunggyu opened them all until he found a bag. He found one in a box that had WS written on the cover. Sunggyu ignored the little what-nots that were scattered inside the box. He took hold of a paper bag that had envelopes in it. He took it all out and used the bag to do his breathing exercise. While he breathed in a out, the contents of the box caught his attention. Sunggyu saw pink and red. Pink envelopes, red roses and hearts. A sweet scent wafted into Sunggyu's nose from the bag causing him to relax. Once he felt okay enough, he sorted through the things in the box. Sunggyu didn't care about privacy; he will, at any cost, barge into Woohyun's life.

Soohyun. That's all he saw. Soohyun, Soohyun, Soohyun. Who the fuck is she? Sunggyu thought.

When he heard the bustle in his bedroom, Woohyun knew that the fucking stranger was going through his stuff. He tried to remain calm--he understood that anger will resokve nothing---but this guy, this meddling bastard is going through his personal belongings. It was as if he didn't care about Woohyun's privacy.

"You leave me no fucking choice." Woohyun growled. He went to the kitchen to get a butcher knife. It was too big, but Woohyun didn't mind. In fact, he thought that it was better and advantageous; he could easily chop Sunggyu's body into pieces.