My neighbour is a vampire

I observed him

Lately I have been thinking about that one reply I got on the question I asked on that site. I don't remember the exact name of the replier but they told me to observe what my neighbour does and see if there is anything suspicious.

So that's exactly what I did. For the last 1 week, I'm always standing by the windows of my house. With my binoculars on, spying on my neighbour, whenever possible.

And here's what I saw him doing.

Gardening - He got this new hobby of gardening out of nowhere. I saw him happily watering the plants and flowers he had grown with care in the past few months. One day when the tomatoes on the tomato plant grew perfect red he excitedly brought all of them to me. I was confused and asked why is he giving all of them to me to which he simply replied, " I don't like tomatoes. " And put the bag in my arms and ran away smiling from ear to ear. What a weirdo. Why did he grow them so cheerfully when he doesn't even like eating this red fruit. Well, his loss is my gain. I loveeee tomatoes.

Exercise - As you guys already know my neighbour is obsessed with exercising. He even wakes up early to do it. Can you believe it?! People like him are the reason why people like me can't find girlfriends. My lack of social skills are also a reason but their biceps are equally guilty. 

Whenever we go out all the girls are staring at him like he's Hritik roshan from Krrish or war. He sometimes takes off his sweatshirt while exercising and all I could think of is what would those girls do if they saw his 6 pack abs. They can only dream about the abs while I get to watch them. 

He does 200 pushups, 500 skipping ropes, 130 dumbbell lifting and whatnot. But if you think that's all he does then don't forget he jogs every night for 2 hours. I still remember when I risked my life for proof that day. That evening I almost saw the gate of afterlife. That day I swear to never run unless someone is after me.

Shopping- Every Wednesday Pranit and I drive in his car to the closest supermarket inside the town. Before you ask me why we go on Wednesday instead of Sunday like other people then let me tell you we have a really good reason for it. On Wednesday most of the products are on 50 to 70 percent off and if you make a purchase upto ₹4,000 or more then you are given an additional gift for free. And as indians says about Indians

" Even if we are offered poison for free we would take it. " 

I remember the last time we went, we had a lot of fun. Pranit and I sat in his car and left for the supermarket at 3 PM. After we enter the air-conditioned supermarket we saw the crowd of people, like always, moving with their trollies from one aisle to another. It was still less crowded then it is at evening. We mistakenly went for shopping at 7PM of a wednesday. That day I found that middle aged women can kill you for a bottle of black pepper and that a small bag of detergent can bruise you for 3 days. 

Anyways, when we finished shopping. Our total bill was over ₹4,000 which means that we are going to get a gift. 

" This is your bill and here is your gift sir. " The cashier lady handed Pranit the bill and the gift box wrapped in a silver paper with a flirty smile. 

After we loaded the groceries in the car I couldn't resist opening the gift. I carefully unwrapped the silver paper and put it inside my pocket. Old habits die hard.

When we opened the box, I was stunned. It had two bracelets and each had half heart on it. What a waste. Why would they made two bracelets with half heart instead they could have made one with a complete heart. 

Waste of resources. Now as an indian I can't throw away a free thing but still, two bracelets were too much for me, so I gave one to Pranit. Pranit was so happy when I gave him the bracelet I felt like he's going to cry. I know. I know. I am very generous.