Lucky

So Lucky

Remus often looked back at his life and spent a few moments in breathless wonder just wondering to himself in quiet disbelief about just how lucky he was.

He had been allowed to go to Hogwarts, he had made fantastic friends but the most wonderful thing by far was James.

How had he been so lucky to have the boy he had been silently crushing on like him back as well? Once they had gotten over the awkward phase of wondering if what they were doing was okay everything seemed to follow seamlessly. Their normal interactions with Sirius and Peter stayed the same as before, they were still playfully affectionate to each other and they didn't do much beside kissing and hand holding until after they had graduated and left Hogwarts.

The werewolf felt unbelievably lucky that James was a bit of a traditionalist, as his family was a little old fashioned due to being a pureblood family line, and kept the pace of their relationship slow and steady which Remus would forever be grateful for. Back then he really hadn't wanted to do more than what they had currently been doing.

(he had absoleutly refused to have sex until they were both past the age of consent AND were no longer in Hogwarts. He point black refused to do anything sexual while still in school. Again, James had been kind and obliged with Remus' request)

Remus really liked holding hands the most. He suspects that he has a thing for James' hands which are long and smooth, free from scars like his own, beautiful like the rest of him.

His insecurities cropped up throughout their relationship, making Remus feel nervous and shaky for no explainable reason and he often wondered what James had seen in him.

Remus was a werewolf and he has evidence of that in the scars that littered his body. There are scars on his face and on his hands, on his back, chest and legs; his whole body is a map of scars. Remus knows that this didn't make him the most attractive person in the world. He was also painfully average in every other physical aspect of himself. Average height and weight, sandy brown hair (that he had inherited from his mother) and amber eyes (which he had gotten from his lycanthropy).

Compared to James, who looked like the sun, he really wasn't much.

James has a dark tan from all the time he spent flying outside on his broomstick. He had a straight nose and wide hazel eyes. His vision was atrocious and thus needed to wear glasses to even be able to see. He has soft lips, which Remus can confirm since he's kissed his boyfriend plenty of times, and when he sleeps his faint dusting of freckles are even more visible. They range from the tops of his cheeks and extend over the bridge of his nose. There was some even on his nape and shoulders.

Currently James was drooling.

He was lying on his back, all the bed sheets tangled around his torso and legs having stolen them sometime during the night, mouth open as he breathed deeply. It was a little weird looking at James when he didn't have his glasses on. His face looked more angular and aristocratic without the round rimmed glasses to distract the fact that James actually had really sharp cheekbones and a strong as hell jawline. The glasses actually made his face look more rounder and softer than it actually was and Remus didn't know which he liked better.

Soft James or Aristocratic James?

James shifted, repositioning himself more comfortable on his pillow and tilted his head in Remus' direction, giving him a better view of his face from where he sat on the floor beside James' bed.

The soft morning light streamed through the window and onto James' face, casting shadows on his slightly hollowed cheeks because of his cheekbones. Has Remus mentioned already that they were really sharp?

Remus smiled, reaching out to push back some of James' messy hair from his forehead. The hair just flopped back to where it had been before and Remus shook his head. Ah, the curse of the Potter hair. He leaned forwards and pecked James' lips, nearly giggling when James made a soft groaning sound and sleepily kissed back, eyelashes fluttering open to reveal bleary hazel eyes.

"Morning love." Remus whispered, grinning widely when James flushed and rolled over on his side to hide his face into his pillow better, the tips of his ears burning red.

The werewolf poked James in the back lightly. Remus grinned when James whined, mournful that he had to get up already, curling up further into the ball as he stubbornly clinged to the last remaining pieces of sleep.

James was not a morning person. Remus however was.

"We're meeting Sirius and Lily and Peter soon. To congratulate Sirius and Lily for getting engaged, remember?" Remus said, running a hand through James' bed hair, glancing back at the clock that hung in the hallway which Remus could see because he had left their bedroom door open.

James mumbled something unintelligible, not moving an inch.

"James." Remus breathed, ruffling his boyfriend's hair as he settled into a cross legged position. James flipped over, face facing Remus again, significantly less red than before. He lifted his hand and threaded his long fingers with Remus' as a sleepy smile formed on his face.

"Morning Moony." He yawned freeing his other arm and stretching. "Love you." He added, causing Remus' stomach to flip over itself as butterflies erupted and consumed him from the inside out. 

He really was lucky, Remus Lupin thought for the millionth time.