Lily's Playlist

Track 8: What I Got

What I Got by Sublime

On the drive to Austin, I refused to talk about Rocky. I didn't want to ruin the trip by being upset.

Trevor does bring up a slightly more pleasant topic: Cam. He doesn't know why I'm really upset with my brother, but I do tell him I don't know how to forgive him.

"Do you want my unbiased opinion?" Trevor asks.

The irony of that statement; Trevor being the neutral party between my brother and me. Once upon a time, I was the middle person. Trevor and my brother were on my side and didn't care much for each other. Cam thought Trevor was your typical college guy that was planning to use and hurt his little sister and Trevor thought Cam babied and spoiled me.

To an extent, they both were right. I was completely dependent on Cam. And Trevor never used me, but it did hurt when he never returned the massive crush I had on him. All that changed after I graduated from Baylor. By then, Trevor and I were just great friends. I also got a job to support myself while in grad school so I didn't run to my brother for everything.

On the other hand, Trevor was having problems finding an entry level job. He majored in computer programming. My brother had a job in Dallas in that field using his Air Force connections. When I reached out to him about job leads for Trevor, Cam hired him as his intern and Trevor moved to Dallas too. Long story short, after 6 months, Trevor got hired on and he and my brother became close friends. At the time, I was thrilled my two favorite guys were getting along so well. Oh, how the tables turned.

"Sure. Go ahead." I replied, honestly interested in what he had to say. Maybe my brother told him something...

"You love each other. At the end of the day, what's more important?" He said.

I want to argue. Truth. Loyalty. Trust. Fucking normalcy. But as I think about it, I can't even convince myself. I wanted my brother back in my life more than anything else.

When we finally arrived in Austin, the first thing we did was buy clothes. We found a touristy western shop and agreed to buy each other's outfit. I picked out blue jeans, a matching western style denim button down and, of course, a cowboy hat for him. After we paid for our purchases, we went to the fitting rooms to get changed. I laughed, in horror, at what he got me. I was standing in the mirror with a short jean skirt that has a pink rhinestone design on the back pockets and a pink halter. He finished the look with a sleeveless denim vest and white rhinestone covered cowboy boots.

"I can't believe I forgot the hat!" He laughed, when I step out the dressing room.

"I can't believe I have to wear these boots." I said, laughing too but we took a ton of selfies in the mirror and posted them online proudly.

After that, he asked me what I felt like eating. I told him I had no preference. I was not surprised we ended up at a burger bar. Trevor is a meat and potatoes type of guy. I was surprised by the selection of burgers. I tried the Greek burger. It's made up of a lamb patty, feta cheese, arugula, onions, tomato, cucumber and tzatziki sauce. Trevor got the Primetime that had Kobe beef, brie cheese, truffle aioli, arugula, onions and steak sauce.

He also ordered us 2 of their brewed beers and truffle parmesan fries to share. It was all amazing. We ate our meal on the patio of the restaurant.

"I will never be able to eat regular fries again." I lamented after he fed me the first bite of fries.

"Sorry." He smiled, before digging into the fries himself.

After walking off our food and enjoying the scenery, we went to the bar Bilal was performing at. In Trevor's 3rd year of college, he shared a school apartment with 2 other guys. To this day, they were all very close. Bilal was one of them.