renegades, httyd

xv. Sister Relations

renegades
chapter fifteen

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    "What is wrong with you?!"

    It felt like there was a frog in my throat. I couldn't speak, just gaping and croaking out the beginnings of words before looking back down, ashamed. I stared at my foot which was wrapped up. I had sprained it in the fall. It hurt, but it wasn't the worst of my problems. No, that belonged to the absolute fury Astrid looked at me with, and the disappointment from Hiccup. And to make it all worse, everyone else was silent, just watching. The boys sat with me, all red and very ashamed too. Clueless sniffled, trying not to cry.

    Winglash was even a little miffed I had left her here, but the baby Groncicle clattered at me, resting himself against my leg to try and give me comfort. I appreciated it, but it didn't make me feel any better.

    "You all could have gotten killed," went on Astrid, storming around, "you could have gotten your dragons killed━you could have led a Speed Stinger pack to us and gotten us all killed!"

    Revna winced at the tone of her voice. She glanced at us, locking my gaze and letting out a careful, "Astrid━"

    "What would you have done if I wasn't there?" Astrid pointed at me, and I couldn't meet her gaze. "You would have died, that's what! You guys are supposed to be a team━not put each other into danger."

    I gritted my teeth. My eyes were burning with tears of shame. I felt like I was a kid being scolded, and I hated it. I felt like I've been nothing but a kid this whole time, and being treated as naive, and having no idea what I'm doing━especially by Astrid.

    Even Hiccup's disappointment seemed to fall away as he saw the looks on our faces. "Astrid..." he turned to my sister, "I think they understand ..."

    "What? You're just going to let this slide?" Astrid threw a hand out to us━or rather, me. "She could have gotten us killed!" 

    When a tear fell, I quickly wiped it away. I didn't want to show myself as weak in front of everyone━especially Astrid after everything she was saying. I managed to croak out a, "I'm sorry━"

    "Look, I told you," Astrid sighed, shaking her head. She was just worried, I reminded myself. That's it. That's it all. "I told you what it's like, and what you have to look for. Estrid, don't you even listen━"

    Those words caused a spark within me. Through the ache in my throat, I snapped, "Of course, I listen!" the words were harsher than I meant. Astrid blinked, startled. "I always listen! To everything! Estrid, don't do this, Estrid, do this, Estrid, you can't do this, Estrid, you're just making things worse, Estrid, what is wrong with you?! What do I need to do to be enough, Astrid?! How do I prove myself to you that I can be a Dragon Rider!"