One Way Ticket to the Cuckoo's Nest

Part 11_ Gealousy

She brought me to some fancy new coffee house with a very cool and calm environment. It was a cute little place, a true hidden gem. Of course I wasn't exactly enjoying all of that, I couldn't, not with her in front of me. She always had a sweet smile on her face, I had barely ever seen her smile before but now all of the sudden she was Mrs Sunshine. With me at least, the poor waitress got the good, old, cold Ms Venable.

We stared at each other in silence for a while, she kept mixing her coffee, maybe trying to wait for me to warm up to her presence. I soon let her know that wasn't going to happen. She could see it in my eyes. So then she tried a different approach. She talked to me about everything that happened to her the last five years. How she bet the time on this little start up and that now she is the CEO of a billion dollar tech company. I don't know why she would think that would make me warm up to her. To hear just how well she did after leaving me, but my guess is that her people skills are just as rusty as they ever were. She talked to me about her jackass bosses and how that whole place would just ruin without her there. How she was so irreplaceable and needed. That seemed to be really amusing for her, she always liked to feel the power.

"Those two brainless morons wouldn't even know which way is right if I wasn't there to tell them" she laughed but then her expression fell to a worry and sad look, she tried to put her hand on mine and I removed it, crossing my arms " Please... talk to me. I hate the way you're looking at me" she said as if I was stabbing her in the core.

"Is that why you called me here?" I said in a low tone "To brag?"

She stood quiet and remorseful.

"Cause if it is, then you're just wasting my fucking time" I say standing up and walking towards the door. But she grabbed my arm firmly, I looked into her eyes, she showed me what lies beneath her smiles and shining success. She had a broken look, terrified of the idea of me leaving her life once more.

"Don't go"

That action shocked me, I was speechless so I just sat back down.

"Cut that shit, and say what you have to say, because I'm tired of all of these games"

"I'm sorry" she said lowering her gaze, I could see just how ashamed she was of not knowing a better way to deal with this "I just... I thought that if I came up too strong... I didn't want you to leave".

I waited a second before responding.

"You really hurt me. When you disappeared"

"You really hurt me when I came back and you weren't there" she said in the same low tone I was talking.

"What? I waited a month for you. No text, no note, nothing... How long was I supposed to wait? A year? 5? Until you felt like coming back? You made me feel so... empty... Like I wasn't worth being treated like every other human being. You weren't there. If it wasn't for Ellie..." I looked away.

She clenched her jaw and closed her fist to the sound of that name. Like an immediate response of pure hate and rage.

"I know now that isn't true, but I didn't then. It wasn't me you hurt, if it was that scared little broken kid you felt completely alone in this world. I don't think I can forgive you for that"

She looked at me with compassion, we had both changed and grown, me a little bit more than her. She was so sad that I had to go through all of that to be able to leave that part of my life behind but happy that I had. Happy that I wasn't successful in one more suicide attempet.

"Did you hurt yourself?" she asked, scared of the answer.

"No" I said as if I was talking about a character in a book and not about myself. "I didn't try to end my life, if that's what you want to know. But I was borderline depressive if it wasn't for Ellie they would have force fed me with a tube. Not that you deserve to know but I just want to keep it honest and leave it all behind"