Bittersweet [ɴᴀᴅᴇɴ]

08

| BITTERSWEET | chapter eight

| you make me feel complete,

oh, it's so bittersweet |

nessa's pov

i lay on my bed thinking about all the memories jaden and i had. i might be overly dramatic but i really miss him.

and i can't believe we actually did it. it's been almost 2 weeks without seeing each other.

and i might see him today because i'm going to the sway house instead of josh coming over.

i get ready, wearing black sweat pants with a small design on it and a oversized white shirt.
i grab my phone and keys and i enter my car.

when i made it to the sway house i took a few breaths in and out before entering. "hey ness." josh greeted me, catching everyone's attention that was in the living room. i hugged josh, and my eyes landed on jaden...sitting next to mads.

his eyes also met mine, i looked away quickly and pulled away from josh's embrace. "i missed you." josh smiles.

"it's only been a day." i laugh, i notice in the conner of my eye jaden rolling his eyes.

"yeah but i still missed you." josh shrugs

i forced a smile on while looking at jaden and mads seem so happy. josh walks into the kitchen and i sat down on the couch one seat away from jaden and mads. "hey nessa." mads looked at me, putting up a fake smile.

"hi." i said monotonously. jaden looked at me again and smile.

"hey." he greeted.

i smile back as a way of greeting him and lean back on the couch and went on my phone. from the conner of my eye i see mads talking to jaden but he wasn't paying attention to her.

he was looking at me.

jaden's pov

she looked so beautiful sitting there, only two seats away from me but mads was in between.
"babe i'm going upstairs to the other living room and watching a movie with the boys. you coming?" mads tells me, i nod.

"yeah, let me get snacks." i say, she nods and kisses me on the lips, i knew nessa was watching. mads went upstairs and i breathed out.

nessa still didn't say anything to me, guess she was waiting for me to say something. "hey." is all i can think off.

"you already said that." she says, still looking at her phone.

"put the phone down and talk to me." i say, she rolls her eyes and lays her phone on her thigh.
"we haven't seen each other in almost 2 weeks."

nessa nods, not saying anything. "why are you being so distant."

"isn't that what we were supposed to do?" she raises her eyebrow. "jaden, i said we should just be more careful when hooking up, but you said we were done. it could ruin everything. this is on you." nessa stood up and went upstairs with everyone to watch a movie.

i know i told her we shouldn't see eachother and i still stand by that. but doesn't mean we shouldn't talk at all.

nessa's pov

next day i dreaded going to sway again, i knew jaden would be there. i texted josh earlier that we should hang out at my place but he said he didn't want to and i should come to sway.

josh is making it harder and harder every time to resist jaden. and jaden knows that it's hard for me to resist him he loves it.

i make it to sway, josh—as usual—hugs and kisses me. i stepped into the living room to overhear a conversation between jaden and mads. "are you coming later today?" i heard mads say, i see jaden smile at the sound of her voice.

"yeah, i am. but i'm just hanging out with the boys right now." jaden tells the blonde girl.

"okayy, can't wait to see you. i miss you and i know it's only been a few hours." mads said with a soft voice, making jaden chuckle.

"i love you." mads added.

"love you." jaden says and ends the phone call.

that whole conversation hurt me deeply, he seemed so happy with her but i know he's not.
but knowing mads get to have him whenever truly breaks me.

it actually makes me consider ruining my career to be with jaden. but that's at the very back of my mind.

but honestly, if jaden and i ever go public and start dating for real. i feel like he'd eventually get bored of me and go back to mads. he'd always go back to her, i know he said to me before that i was his addiction.

but i really think it's mads. they've broken up 4 times and got back together everytime. even if jaden isn't happy with her i still think he wouldn't be okay with leaving her.

i hope i'm wrong though, because if i wasn't. that would crush every piece of my heart.

cause i really love jaden, i would leave josh every single time in a heart beat.

for me it's always jaden.