You're not him-Loki x fem!reader

Chapter 12-Distraction

You were sitting on the hill, knees drawn to your chest, looking over everything. The ends of so many timelines. The smashed buildings, there was a 'Thanos' helicopter for shit's sake, the weird holo-birds.

And all the Loki's.

I wonder how the President's doing

You wished you never kissed the man in the TVA uniform, you wished he never professed his love for you, you knew it wasn't real, but you wanted to hang on that last thread of hope that maybe-just maybe he actually loved you and wasn't lying.

But that's the thing about Loki's. They always lie.

" Are you alright?" 

Think of the devil and he shall appear

" Hmm" you replied, still looking at the scene in front of you.

" You don't seem fine." he replied.

" I'm fine Loki." you say, stressing the word 'fine'.

Sighing he sits down next to you, shoulders brushing against each other.

" What's bothering you?" he asked

" Nothing, shouldn't you be with Sylvie?" you reply, avoiding the question.

Eyebrows furrowing, he says, " No, why would I be with Sylvie?"

Chuckling humorlessly, you reply, " Well, you're always concerned about her whereabouts, I thought once you actually knew where she was, you'd be with her."

Looking down, you see the regret and realization on his face, he realized how much of an ass he was to you.

He holds your hand, fingers interlacing, the action making you turn your head to look at him.

" I'm sorry."

" That's the third time a Loki has apologized to me today."

" I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel like this, I'm sorry for making you feel as if I don't love you. Because I do, I really love you. I was just stressed because I thought that Sylvie would be useful in killing-no enchanting Alioth. And I do trust you, she's the only Loki I trust, that still doesn't excuse how much of an arse. I'm sorry darling." he apologized, kissing your hand.

You pull your hand away, clenching your jaw. This was not the man who had taught you to fight with daggers and had kissed you silly when you pinned him to the wall after a duel.  This wasn't the man who you had proposed to, the man who had knelt down when you had, and didn't bother casting an illusion to hide his tears because he trusted you enough to cry in front of you. 

This man was not him.

You knew that he wasn't in love with you, you knew that he was just obsessed with this fantasy of being in love. And you knew it was very wrong to give him that hope. To provide him that little drug of attention that give him the validation he so longed for. But it felt so good to be near him.

So, without a word, you leant up to kiss up lightly, trying to convey some semblance of love, before pulling away and looking blankly ahead.

It rendered him speechless for a moment before he smiled.

You smiled too, even if it didn't quite reach your eyes.

~~

" If I'm gonna die, I might as well die in style" you say and transform your outfit into the battle suit you wore when you fought with the Avengers.