Spring [Completed]

FIFTY

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HER

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re•sil•ient
adjective
1. able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.

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The NICU is a terrifying place to visit.

Ethan is my comfort today, as we walk at an agonizingly slow pace down the NICU corridor. Despite the cheerful pastel colored walls and light pouring in through the large windows, fear nips at the back of my mind as I await the moment where we meet our son.

Our son.

It brings me so much relief and joy to finally be able to say those words. To confirm it. We have a son together.

Ethan's grip on my arm tightens when I stop short of the tan curtain separating the two of us from our child. He stands in front of me, blocking my view of the monitors peeking at me behind the curtain.

His blue eyes meet mine, concerned brows furrowing in question. "Hey," he whispers with a reassuring smile. "It's okay. I'm here."

I nod a little too fast and close my eyes, willing my dizziness to subside.

"Mani, are you alright? Do you need to sit down?"

Ethan's cool palm caresses my cheek and I shake my head as I open my eyes. "I'm okay." My words come out small as my focus returns to the curtain. I glance at it over his shoulder and place a hand to my c-section incision as it aches.

I can feel Ethan's worried gaze on me as he grabs my clammy hand, gives it a squeeze. We exchange a silent glance and Ethan nods, sliding back the curtain and leading me inside.

My heart drops at the sight of him, and on instinct, I try to pull away. Ethan's strong hand grounds me in place. "Look at me," he says, voice gentle as he guides me to the nearby seat.

I hear him, but I can't listen to his request. Instead my nostrils flair as I stare at our son through glassy eyes. My baby boy.

He lies still in the plastic incubator, eyelids twitching ever so slightly with each passing moment. Impossibly tiny. The harsh hospital lighting makes his smooth skin appear almost see through, riddled with tiny veins and blood vessels. The hat and diaper that they've dressed him in are too big for his small, frail body, and the tubes connected to his mouth and chest bring tears to my eyes.

They told me this was how he'd look but I never thought it would scare me like this.

Tearing my gaze away from the delicate infant, I cover my mouth, stifling a cry as I glance at the floor.

Ethan crouches in front of me, placing a hand to my knee. He sighs, taking my free hand in his and drawing small circles on my skin. "Imani, this is normal. He's okay. I don't want you to worry-"

"I know," I whisper, wiping the tears from my face. "It's just...It's a lot, Ethan, I can't-"

"You can." His smile doesn't quite reach his glistening blue  eyes. "I know this is scary." He takes a shaky breath as he reaches up to wipe my cheek. "Trust me, I'm terrified, but I know you're strong enough to get through this."

I shake my head, shutting my eyes tightly as more tears escape my eyes.

Holding my face in his hands, he rests his forehead against mine. "I need you to try," he whispers. "Baby please-" His voice breaks and suck in breath as I place a hand to his cheek. He waits a minute, gathering himself before speaking once more. He pulls back, glancing up at me through wet lashes. "We can do this, Imani." The conviction in his voice give me strength. "Together, okay?"

I bite back a fresh wave of tears and nod. "Okay," I whisper and Ethan gives me a hug, careful not to disturb my incision. I hold him tight, closing my eyes and letting his presence soothe my nerves.

Ethan helps me to my feet when I finally pull away. Slowly, he guides me back to incubator where our baby lies.

We're silent as we admire him, and I'm surprised when my heart swells, finding the beauty behind all of the tubes and wires. I turn, glancing up at Ethan as he wipes away the silent tears trailing down his face. I snake my arm around his waist and he pulls me into him.

"He so strong," he whispers, glancing down at me as he chews his bottom lip.

I nod, new tears pricking my eyes as Ethan hugs me from behind. He gives me a light squeeze, resting his chin on my shoulder as I wrap my arms around his. My chest tightens as I glance back at our son and smile.  "That's our boy."

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A/N: This book is almost over and I am just loving these moments between Imani and Ethan!

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I hope you all are having a great day!

Until next time,

—Kay♡