Spring [Completed]

TWENTY-SIX

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HIM

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"When we lose someone we love, we must learn, not to live without them, but to live with the love they left behind."

—Unknown
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I'm not the biggest fan of scorching hot showers, but today I felt unusually grimy. It might've had something to do with pulling a 16 hour shift or choosing to go to the gym an hour before, but either way, I feel disgusting.

Taking a big sip of my coffee, I toss my clean clothes onto the counter and turn on the shower. Steam gradually fills the bathroom, and soon the piping hot water is rolling down my back, leaving a satisfying sting on my aching muscles.

I run my head under the shower head briefly and close my eyes, letting the water run over me as I leaning against the wall and lose myself in thought.

The incident in the parking lot was a wake up call for me. It really put a lot of things into perspective and has helped me to kind of see that maybe Imani and I just aren't meant to be. As much as I'd like things to be different, she's unavailable. So, I've been taking Rajit's advice and only focusing on things I can control. It's only been a couple of days, and it's hard, but I'm managing to keep myself busy enough not to think about her. It's just odd to miss someone I've only barely begun to know again.

I wince as the water pressure changes and the shower grows too hot to handle. After turning the water down, I grab my shampoo and begin to lather my hair. My phone blares to life the same moment I detangle the knot in my hair, and I jump slightly startled by the sudden noise.

Groaning, I quickly rinse my hair and pray that it's not the hospital calling me back in. Water drips into my eyes as I turn off the shower and wrap my towel around my waist. Kelly's name flashes across my screen and I sigh, relieved.

The moment I go to answer it, the call ends, and before I can call her back, her name pops right back onto the screen. I chuckle before answering the phone. "Hey Kells, I'm so glad it's you and not the hospital."

"Hey," Kelly says, her voice is quiet, and she doesn't sound like herself.

"Everything alright?" I ask, leaning against the wall. My toes fiddle with the bath rug as I talk. "I've been meaning to call you and tell you the good news. I talked to my supervisor and he agreed to give me an extra day off. I'll be in Cali as early as Friday morning."

"Ethan..."

"Are Mel and the boys still there? I'd love to surprise them."

"No, they left yesterday, but Ethan, listen—"

"Damn," I say, rubbing my chin, I suppose I could make the drive down there. I'll have to get a rental car and—"

"He's gone."

I blink, unsure that I've heard her correctly. "What?" I ask, my voice coming out a little louder than a whisper.

"Dad...h-he's..." Her voice cracks, and her sobs are loud in my ear.

I shake my head as my eyes begin to water. "No...h-he can't be..." Kelly's weeping only grows louder, so I drop the phone to my side and stare at my reflection. I crinkle my nose to stop the inevitable tears. "No," I whisper again, frowning as a sharp pain settles in my chest. I bring the phone back to my ear. "Kelly," I say her name desperately as tears blur my vision. "Please tell me you're lying. T-take it back."

"Why would I lie about this, Ethan?" She sounds offended, but I don't care.

He's not supposed to die...

"Ethan? Ethan, are you there—"

I hang up the phone and throw it onto the counter. "Fuck!" I yell, my knees growing weak as I slump against the wall.

I knew I should've just left. I should have just said screw it and taken the next available flight to see him. But, I had to be practical. I had to think about the consequences. Be considerate of others. I shake my head as angry tears flow freely down my face. I did all the right things, and I still got fucked in the end. Now my dad's dead. He's dead, and I can never get that time back...

He's dead. The thought runs repeatedly through my mind as a gut-wrenching sob escapes my mouth. I tug on my wet hair and squeeze my eyes shut hard as I rock back and forth on the tile.

I don't know how to react or what to do, so I just sit there for what feels like forever and cry. All I know is I need guidance, someone to tell me what I should do, someone to make me feel anything other than this pain...

Before I know what I'm doing, my phone is in my hand and I'm dialing her number. I don't care if she told me to stay away. I don't care if this is inappropriate. I just need to feel okay again. I need her.

"Hey, Ethan." She answers faster than I expected. "Believe it or not, I was just about to call you," she chuckles.

I frown, feeling shitty for putting my burden on her. I close my eyes, my bottom lip trembling as her soothing voice washes over me, providing a slight sense of relief.

"Ethan? You there?"

"Yeah," I sniff, wiping my running nose. "Hey."

She's quiet for a moment and there's a slight rustling on her end, before she finally speaks. "Are you okay? You're kind of scaring me."

Tears well up in my eyes as I shake my head, even though she can't see me. "Imani..." I say, and my hands begin to shake at the thought of finally saying the words aloud. "M-my dad..." I pause when I hear her sharp intake of breath. "He...h-he's dead... He's dead, Imani, he's gone."

I can't help the pained moan that escapes from my lips as it truly dawns on me that I'll never be able to speak with him again. He's actually gone...

"Oh, Ethan." Her gasp only makes my tears fall harder.

My mind begins to race as a sudden panic arises in me. "W-what am I supposed t-to do? What am I going to tell m-my kids? Imani, I—" My voice cracks as I lose it completely.

"E-Ethan, hang tight. I'm on my way, okay?"

I nod, chewing on my thumbnail as I try to regulate my breathing. "Imani, please hurry," I whisper desperately, letting out a sigh of relief as I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes.

The only thing getting me through this is the thought that she's on her way. Imani'll make this better. She has a way of making everything make sense.

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A/N: Classes have officially begun for my college and I'm so excited! Sike. 🙄🤧

I'm curious, if you're in school, are you doing online classes, in person, or a hybrid?

Anyways sorry about this sad chapter 😔

I'm thinking about double posting on Friday but tbh it just depends on how this week goes. I have a feeling it's about to be hectic 🤷🏾‍♀️

Anyways, I hope you all are having a great day!

Until next time,

—Kay♡