Spring [Completed]

TWENTY-THREE

┌─────── ∘∘∘❁∘∘∘ ───────┐

HIM

└─────── ∘∘∘❁∘∘∘ ───────┘

"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want."

—Unknown

∘∘∘❁∘∘∘

I never thought a day could feel like forever, until I had nothing to look forward to. My kids are miles away with their mother, my father is on his death bed, and the woman I love refuses to reciprocate my feelings. All I'm left with is time. Time to reflect, time to wallow, and time to remember all the good things that I no longer possess.

I burp, tossing my empty beer bottle into the sink as I open the fridge and grab another.

I've come to realize that time is not my friend. It never has been. Time seems to be what we all need, but we never truly get enough of it.

I wanted more time with my boys, more time with my father, more time with...her. But, time is cruel in that way. It'll dangle an unattainable future in front of you, place an uncertain promise within your grasp, just to rip it all away and laugh at your misery in the end.

As I settle back into my spot on the couch, I glance out the window at the setting sun and frown as the room grows dimmer. I don't want to let the light in, so instead I turn towards the soft glow of the television and try to forget my problems if only for a moment. The moment is fleeting, and soon I'm back to thinking about her and the way we ended things.

One phone call. I take a swig of my beer and let it settle upon my taste buds. The taste is bitter, coating my mouth with the familiar feeling. I swallow and the sweet aftertaste is a satisfying balance that I welcome. The feeling is similar to my relationship with Imani in some aspects. Bittersweet. After all the history, all the memories, all the time spent together, she ended it with a phone call. I sigh, swiping the back of my hand over my damp eyes. She doesn't deserve my tears.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, desperately trying to suppress the rising memory.

"Imani..." I whisper as I clutch the phone in my hand. Pain seeps into my bones, and my limbs feel heavy as I lower the phone from my cheek.

"Ethan," her voice is soft and broken. I listen reluctantly as she gathers herself together. "You know how I feel about you..."

"But?" My voice wavers as I finish her statement.

"I can't... I was a child of divorce. I know that pain, a-and I don't want that for my girls. Demi is still so young and impressionable...I don't want her to grow up in a broken family. Ethan, I can't do that to her..." Her breath hitches and my heart lurches at the sound of her soft weeping.

"Mani—"

"Ethan, you don't deserve this. None of this is your fault...you should forget about me and my drama. All I've ever done is hurt you—"

"That's not true," I say, sniffing as tears well up in my eyes. "You helped me to love, when I thought I was incapable of ever feeling that again. You helped bring me back, all those years ago...Who am I to leave you now, in your darkest hour?"