just his barista... (RanbooLiveX!FemOC) [DISCONTINUED]

1️⃣6️⃣

luke <3
month 1

the first couple of weeks went by quickly. meeting up with tom, george and most of the brits, meeting a bunch of british fans, living with my best friend. practically having the greatest time of my life.
i was unbanned from mcc and i got to play in it the next week. my team was with wilbur, tubbo and tapl which i couldn't be more excited for.
my bond with toby grew stronger and the same with tom too. we made plans for me to be in his vlogs and one day when toby was doing a stream we went out together and had some fun in england.
halfway through the second week when elsie and i had planned a stream together, she had messaged me saying that she was sick. i was worried so i just called her for the whole day to make sure that she was okay.
we did manage to stream a couple of times together, it was difficult to find time though which we both were saddened by. we still called each other at least once if we were doing a solo stream.

it was nice for toby and i to have our own space because of all the late night streams we did. most of time when toby streamed i was either sleeping or recording videos.

i really missed elsie though. every time she streamed i watched it, messaged comments to her and joined vcs with her a lot. normally i'd fall asleep on call while she either worked on ban appeals or was editing her videos. she'd then fall asleep with me and i'd see her asleep when i'd wake up and then end the call so then she wouldn't wake up in the early hours of the morning.

on the third week, elsie's hoodie stopped smelling like her, i was holding onto the remaining scent that i had religiously. i stopped wearing it and just used it to comfort me if i was feeling extra anxious or something on one day.
i saw a tiktok one day where someone had full on did an analysis on elsie and i. it showed a clip of her wearing the hoodie which i wore on my first day of being in britain. it also showed the lock and key necklaces that we both wore and showed clips where it seemed 'too real to be fake' when we were 'flirting' with eachother.
it panicked me for a second but then i realised that if i just left it, it'll pass eventually ... right?

it got really tough on the fourth week. i watched elsie's stream at the start of the week. she was playing bedwars with purpled. i read chat and saw that they were shipping them together. an urge of jealously and worry rushed through my veins. what if she saw more good in him than she did me? i wanted to message her about it but i got too scared to do anything. i spoke to toby about it and he just said to brush it off. it didn't really help. i needed her. my anxiety sky rocketed for no apparent reason, even without looking at that stream. my facial dysmorphia was the worst it could've ever been, i didn't want to do face cam streams and i just needed elsie in person.
i called her in the middle of the day in the kitchen while toby was streaming.
"hey lukey." she said calmly she was lightly humming one of our favourite songs. i then just broke down into tears. elsie stopped humming.
"beb what's wrong?" she asked in a light voice. "what's happened?"
"i miss you els." i said, sobbing though quiet enough that toby couldn't hear me. "i need you."
"babe." she sighed empathetically. "i'm listening now. you'll be seeing me in a couple of months. it's not too bad."
"i wish you came with me, it would've made me so much less anxious about everything." i explained, calming down a little.
"i didn't know toby and tom well enough at the time. it was just times that it was planned. we couldn't have controlled that." she said. she was right, but i didn't want her to be. "you, are having the time of your life with your best friends."
"it's not enjoyable because i hate the way i look. my face. what if i hit five million and i'm revealing my face in britain without you? i'd hate that because you wouldn't be able to support me or comfort me. you were the first person who made me less insecure about my face elsie." i ranted. "and seeing chat shipping you and purpled made me think that i wasn't good enough for you." i added. elsie went quiet, she obviously didn't know what to say.
"if you're uncomfortable doing it, don't do it. telling everyone that you're unsure about it will make them understand, they're not real fans if they don't want you to push yourself to doing something that you wouldn't like." she said. "and also, no one can top you. you're my favourite person on the entire earth." i took a sigh of relief, she always knew what to do and say. i wiped away my tears and sniffled.
"god. i love you els." i said.
"i love you too lukey." i heard her smile through the phone. "i need to go because dad's calling me but i will see you later okay?"
"okay, bye." i said, ending the call.

ten minutes later, toby ended stream and came through to the kitchen. i was sitting down on the floor against the wall on the other side of the room.
"you good bro?" he asked. i took a deep breath and nodded.
"just anxious about this week's stuff. i called elsie and i'm all good now." i explained. he smirked at me and giggled to himself. "what?" i asked.
"you miss her don't you?" he asked.
"well ... yeah obviously." i replied bluntly.
"it's cute. i've never seen you happier when you talk about her or when you were with her on stream." he said. i blushed a little and laughed awkwardly.
"heh ... yeah ... i guess so." i replied. "she is pretty amazing."
"i can agree on that one too." he said. "as a friend obviously." he added quickly.
"yeah." i said smiling.

perfect is maybe the best word for describing her.