Suicide (Notes)

Empowerment #1

Death

Death can sometimes be unexpected and not intentional at all. It's sad because I was feeling depressed and wanting to die meanwhile someone who didn't want to die just died anyway.

My aunt in Puerto Rico just died because of the conditions out there. As some of you may or may not know, Puerto Rico has had multiple hurricanes that completely ruined the entire country. Even now there's talk of a potential tsunami that might hit.

Some people are starving while others are perfectly fine. Some were struggling to make it another day while others didn't have to struggle. My aunt apparently wasn't fine for reasons I'm not sure of at the moment, but all I know is that she's dead now.

To the person who is reading this, please don't wish death upon others or yourself. After having a family member die, I realized how I've been taking the life I have for granted.

You may think you want death and then when someone you love dies it just changes your entire outlook on death.

For me, it just makes me more determined to keep going no matter how hard it is. I've been battling depression for a while now and admittedly, even I once wanted to die because it was that bad.

But no, I won't wish for that anymore. Instead, I'll wish that I'll have the strength to keep going. If that wish doesn't come true then I'll just make sure that it does on my own.

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door"

That's a quote I've always found to be the most inspirational and it's also a necessity that we all need to have the integrity to do.

My heart truly hurts from losing a loved one and I realized that if I died, most likely someone out there might be as devastated as I am right now.

I used to doubt that someone loves me enough to be in this much pain over my death but you'll be surprised. I found that in life you may not think someone or even anyone doesn't care about you or love you, but trust me they do.

There are 7 billion people in the world and I promise you at least one cares about you/loves you.

Death might be desirable for most but if you ask for it, it won't come for you, instead maybe in the form of karma, it comes for someone else that you love and for that, I blame myself deeply.

I took life for granted and I have many more years to live meanwhile there are people begging for doctors to find a cure.

There are people who are brain dead or paralyzed.

There are people who just went to sleep and didn't know that they would never wake up ever again.

There are people who are hooked up to a machine awake and aware but not being able to move at all so they're stuck. They're stuck and not able to do the things they used to anymore.

There are people starving, getting violated, getting murdered, and just so many other horrific things.

There are people who are doing much worse so for you or anyone to take their life for granted would just be wrong.

You don't want to live anymore?

Live anyways, trust me this is probably just the bad part of your life and the good part is on the other side, you just have to keep walking towards it.

Death is not a joke and is certainly NOT an escape from pain. Death is actually quite the opposite. It's a tragic thing that leaves you lifeless and unable to live and trust me you don't waste the one life you have.

So do yourself and someone else a favor and live. Live on and be like a beautiful butterfly flapping your wings freely in the wind, trying to find your way.

R.I.P. Titi 1/11/18 🙏❤️