Suicide (Notes)

Empowerment #5

So recently I had a very close friend of mine who out of nowhere said they were going to cut and immediately I was put in a state of shock mixed with worry. What if they end up bleeding to death? What if they survive and end up being hurt permanently?

It's really hard when you care so much about someone and they just hurt themselves as if you're invisible and they don't hear you screaming for them to stop hurting themselves. But it's like they don't hear you, they're caught in this trance where they're hypnotized to continue hurting themselves, not stopping until they are satisfied with the amount of damage done.

I was speechless in that moment, just knowing someone I loved was harming themselves and I was useless to help them in any way. I couldn't find the words to get them to stop, so I sat there silently as they continued doing it and I was internally screaming. They said they wanted "real pain", but were they aware of the real pain they were causing me?

So I cried, yes I cried because it's like as they were hurting themselves, they were also hurting me. I know they didn't mean to and just were so sad that they didn't know what else to do but cut.

But the thing is, cutting is something that only leads to making things worse. I know now what I would've said to my friend after it was just too late to help them, after the damage was already done.

If you know someone who is cutting or you yourself is cutting, really take time to reflect on the concept itself. People who cut are for some reason compelled to hurt themselves and doesn't that seem like a cry for help?

The person is drowning in their own depression and they may think the only way to escape that for a bit is through cutting, but think of cutting like cutting off pieces of yourself, pieces you may never get back.

You don't wanna cut until you're just so numb and just not you at all anymore so before you even think about cutting, you should think about the people who care about you.

You may feel like no one cares about you, but trust me sweetie there's someone out there somewhere on this planet who is thinking about you.

Whether it's your relative or even a friend who lives really far away, I promise you you're at least on their mind sometimes because you are important. You're not just a number in this population, you're a person, someone who is one of a kind and there's no one else exactly like you.

Cutting only adds onto the pain, not help or minimize the pain in any way and if you think you want pain, you really don't. Cutting really stings and sometimes those scars don't go away psychically or you think they'll just fade away, but the scars will always be there emotionally if not psychically.

After harming yourself, the pain you inflicted on yourself will always be imprinted there and it's not something that should keep happening.

Someone out there could really love you and you're destroying yourself thinking you're alone when really you're not.

So please stop cutting or really put effort into trying to stop anyone you know from cutting if they cut. If you know anyone who cuts, take the time out to really show them you care about them and want them to stop and offer them warmth and care.

People may seem really strong, but at the end of the day, we're all human, we feel things and emotions get the best of us and everyone may be delicate or fragile in different ways. So if you're cutting, just stop, it won't make you or the person/people who care about you feel any better and it's just adding onto the pain that already exists and I'm sure if you've resorted to cutting, by now you're tired of pain.

You're tired of feeling so sad and alone most of the time because those things really pain you, so really, why add onto the pain that is already there? You shouldn't make things harder for yourself and just really think about what you're doing, cutting should not be an option at all and no one should ever resort to it.

So stop, now and for good.

For my friend who hurt themselves (you would know who you are) if you are reading this, please listen to me and I'm sorry for not being of much help before, but just know I love you and really do care about you even if it doesn't seem like that sometimes, I'll always be here for you through hard times like this and good times too.

For the people who I don't know and they are or have cut themselves, I'm here for you too and you can just inbox me at anytime ranting about your feelings and I'll listen. I won't abandon you at all so don't be scared to message me.

And last but not least for the people who know someone who cuts, don't make the same mistake I did and just stand by speechless as they cut. Really put the effort into helping them before cutting becomes something far worse.

It's not too late... it's never too late.