𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐷𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑦, - 𝐽𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

TW: ABUSE AND ANGST - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

June 17th

Dear Diary,

My father called me downstairs again, waking me up.

He was looking at me with his normal glare. Angry, confused and ready to strike at any moment.

"You haven't been doing enough work. You want to know how much money you made at work in the past two weeks?"

I didn't respond.

"Only 2,000 pounds! You know how much the other stock brokers make every two weeks?"

Again, I didn't respond. My lip was trembling.

"Over 5,000 pounds every two weeks."

I cut in.

"Father, it's because I'm a girl! People won't buy from me, or whatever since I'm not even supposed to be there!"

That set my father off. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and pinned me to the kitchen wall. My head shook from the impact. My breathing got heavier and heavier as he moved his face closer to mine.

"If you can't behave well, and complete your work properly, then you will never leave this house until I say you can."

I felt a single tear drop slide down my cheek.

"You won't be able to see your little boyfriend at all, no matter what I say. You shouldn't have broken up with your last boyfriend without my permission."

He released me and I fell to the floor.

"You have no say in my love life! You don't get to choose who I fall in love with! You can't control me! I'm twenty-three years old, and I should be able to do what I want."

He grabbed me again and slapped my face. I gasped as my lip began to tremble again. I shouldn't be crying. I should be used to this at this point. He's done this so much for so many reasons. So many useless reasons to hurt his child.

"Go to your room, you ungrateful brat." He threw me against the wall again and stared at me. I stumbled as I got up and headed to my room.

I sat on my bed and spread my arms. I sighed and started to cry. I never cry anymore. I was so used to him hitting me and hurting me, there was no reason to cry. I need to be strong. Well, stronger than I look.

I took a pillow and shoved my face into it.

Why does he think Jack is my boyfriend? I mean, yeah, we almost kissed, but that doesn't mean we're dating. It just means.... It just means that I like him. He's so cute.

I shook my head to stop thinking of him. It'll make me cry more.

Stop, Y/N. You'll make things worse.

I got up and sat on my windowsill. I couldn't believe this. I couldn't go out. Not even to work just because I'm a girl. Who would want to buy stocks from me anyway? I don't even know what I'm doing...

Then I see something out of the corner of my eye. A bike actually.

Jack.

I put my hands against the glass as I saw him climb up a lamppost.

He's a lamplighter? I didn't know- oh God, father is going to kill me. I'm not supposed to fall in love with anyone, let alone a lamplighter. This can't be.

No. I can't. I can't see him anymore. Well, I don't have that choice. I'm not allowed to see him anyway. But I want him so bad. He's so precious. I need him. But I can't.

Why does this have to be so hard?