41 | NOW, I KNOW.

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☆☆☆

AUTHOR'S POV.


"Joshua."
"Xtell"

They both said at the same time.


"You go first." Xtell said.

"No. You go first." Joshua said.

Xtell nodded and smiled at him. Joshua smiled back. She cleared her throat before starting to speak. And once again, they made an eye contact, but Xtell broke it first and started speaking.

"I miscarried, Joshua." Xtell said. Trying not to break down as the past of being in a hospital giving birth to a dead baby.

While Joshua left speechless. He doesn't know what to say.

"W-what?" He asked as if he didn't hear it right. Not wanting to believe Xtell.

"I miscarried Joshua. Our baby. The child is dead." Xtell said. With her knees weakening making her kneel to the ground.

Yes. Joshua heard it right. Xtell miscarried. And the worst is, its their baby. She watch Xtell's figure to broke down reminiscing the past of being pregnant, but sadly in just 3 months, the baby died.

The baby died, not able to see the beautiful of the world, how handsome his/her father is, and how beautiful his/her mother is.


"I-It's hard t-to believe r-right?" Xtell said between her sobs.


Still, Joshua didn't responded. She's right. Its hard to believe that you almost had a family, but after what he did, everything scatered like a broken pieces of the glass. Maybe he can re-do it again, but its already not the same as the unbroken glass before. It already had lines not clear as before.

Just like what happen to him and Xtell. Their relationship's is like a glass. Maybe Xtell already forgave him, but they can't be together again.


"H-How?" All Joshua said. Being curious from how, what and when it happen.

"Remember the day I embarrass Umji infront of Live Cameras and medias?" She asked. Joshua nodded.

"Even I left her first, she followed me and take her revenge. I didn't saw her coming, she pushed me hard to the ground she was about to slap me hard, but she noticed the blood rushing out of my legs. She ran away like nothing happen. Now, I already told you about it. Act like we don't know each other anymore." Xtell said before leaving him behind. But Joshua is fast enough to stop her from leaving.


"Why didn't you told me about this?" Joshua asked seiously, looking at Xtell's crying eyes.

"How  I suppose to tell you if you already choose Umji than me? Tell me how?!!" Xtell yelled,crying her eyes out.

Joshua went silent. She got a point.


"I just know about my pregnancy when I was in Los Angeles with your mom." Xtell said emphasizing the word 'your mom'


"I always had my morning sickness that time. I always avoid my favorite food that your mom cook for me. And she found it weird. I kept on eating weird foods like a pregnant woman. Your mom noticed it. Biut I said I'm not. Not until, I passed out. My co-members and your parents rushed me to the hospital, and at the end, your mom is right. I'm pregnant." Xtell said.


"But where are you that time? Here at Korea right? With Umji? Not bothering to call and ask how I am? I thought your busy that time that's why I shrugged the thoughts of you cheating. But in the end, you prove me wrong. You cheated." Xtell said pointing Joshua.


"At this relationship, its not you who get hurt and struggled. Its me. And add more the time I caught you cheating. Right here. At the roof top. It makes me stress. To the point that I got rushed to the hospital. I didn't wanted Seventeen members to tell it to you. I said to myself, that I will raise the child lonely. Without its father's presence. But, guess what? You don't have to worry about the child, because his/her now gone." Xtell said. Once again, she kneeled to the ground.


"Joshua. I'm not blaming you for the baby's lost because I know you didn't know about its existence after all. That's why I forgave you even you're also the reason why the baby died. Even if you made a mistake. Because I still love you--" Xtell said looking up to Joshua who still stayed silent. For all the time.


"I hate you because this stupid love betrayed me. Wonwoo also kept on saying I should forgive you and I did. Because I still love you, Joshua." She said, Joshua looked down at her.


"But now, we can't be together again. After what happen. Its hard for me to see you everytime. It remind me the past. Its hurts me Joshua. We almost had our own family, but it was failed." Xtell said.


Joshua crouched down at her level and hugged her tight. And guess what? Joshua cried too.


"I-I'm s-sorry." Joshua said. And cried against Xtell's shoulder.


"I told you, I already forgave you." Xtell said and carresed Joshua's hair.



"Umji, she threatened me." Joshua mumbled to her shoulder.

Xtell frozed.


"She threatened me the day you caughy us both here. That if I come to you again, she will kill you." Joshua said.


"That's why I didn't approached you." He continued.



"But my mistake is, I also loved her. I loved Umji. But not as good for how I love you. After knowing about her plan, I immediately avoided her. I realized what I did. And I was really really wrong." He said.


"Why didn't you told me? Why?" Xtell asked the same question Joshua asked to her a while ago.


"Its because I know you won't listen. I choose to hide it and accept the fact that I cheated." He whispered.


"Now, even I wanted you back, I can't. Wonwoo is already there for you no matter what. I need to move on." He said crying again.


"I love you so much. Xtell. And you know that. But even you know, I'm sure you will choose Wonwoo over me. Because he's always there for you. " Joshua said



"He won't do the same mistake I did, and he won't hurt you. Because I know he loves you as much as I did." He continued.


"For the last time. I love you and I will never fall out of love in you. I will love you always, and forever." Joshua said and captured her lips.


Without them knowing, all of the Seventeen members and Twilight members are now watching over them. Eavesdropping in their converstation


They all heard it. They still love each other. Despite of what happen.



When Xtell and Joshua kissed, they all looked to Wonwoo. Who's now, tears flowing down to his face.



They are right. In the end, both of them will comeback again. Because,


"Love is sweeter in its second  way around."

Without them knowing, both Xtell and Joshua decide to be friends. Because Xtell know, she also loves Wonwoo.

☆☆☆

A/n: its uh, messy? BTW, i will update again later because I didn't update for 2 days. Hehe.

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