Diamond Heart | Hyunbinchan

Chapter 8

It's late when Chan and Changbin take a taxi home, and by the time Chan steps into his apartment, Felix is already sleeping.

He showers. He tries to convince himself he didn't imagine Changbin's mouth on him, that actually happened. He sucks on his own fingers to remember the way Hyunjin's fingers felt on his tongue. His body is tingling, he's exhausted, but he knows no sleep will come. He tries anyway – lies under his blanket, closes his eyes, tries to clear his head in meditation. Nothing. Just more thoughts.

So Chan gets his laptop, a large glass of water, and when he realises he can just catch up with his work during the day, he turns to composing.

He starts the song from the ground up, and after an hour of composing and adding and editing beats, he realises he's looking at a love song.

And he has words now, lyrics, that somehow exist in the back of his mind.

He's unable to write them now, but he knows – he will. And if he writes them on the backs of whatever papers he's got lying around at work, or if he emails them to himself on his phone – he'll write them.

And with this knowledge, he can finally fall asleep.

He doesn't sleep long, but it's enough rest to get him through the day, to listen to Felix excitedly talk about Jisung in the morning. He tells him about Jia planning to visit and his promise to prepare brownies. He's looking forward to meeting Jisung, not just because he's Felix's soulmate.

Thay day passes both more and less exciting than usual – more, because Changbin's press conference is in the morning, and people congratulate him on his found soulmates. And less, because Chan has a whole mountain of work to go through, and he's caught between emails and calls and meetings until it's late. Somehow, that manages to bring him comfort.

He powers through the headache he gets when his body realises he's not feeding himself coffee.

And then it's Saturday and Chan stands in front of his closet, Felix is telling him he's not allowed to come home until the morning, because Jisung is coming by.

Chan very pointedly does not ask questions.

"It's because I'm smart," Felix says, "because he doesn't know Jia wants to meet him, so tomorrow I'll just tell him to stay around, and then he'll have no other choice."

"Or you simply tell him 'hey, my cousins want to meet you,' have you considered that...?" Chan stares at the black choker in his hands. He'd like to wear it, but it would partly cover the orange rose.

"You can't talk, it's not like you've told yours yet," Felix rolls his eyes. "My plan is genius, and Jia will love Jisung."

Chan fastens the choker around his neck and pauses. "Um? Thanks for having faith in me, I guess, but Changbin and Hyunjin have known they're invited, like, five minutes after Jia and I talked."

"You –" Felix stares. "It's like you have your life under control? Wow."

"Ah, what happened to my cute baby cousin Lixie who thought I knew everything there was to know?" Chan shakes his head in pretended sadness. "Now he'll find out that I'm older than him and he won't believe it."

"Chris!" Felix throws one of his socks in Chan's general direction, but because it's just a sock, he misses.

Chan rolls his eyes. "I'm gonna go, then, so you can be nervous on your own."

"I'm not – well," Felix winces and hides his face in his hands. "Maybe I am a little nervous. You forgot your waist chain, by the way."

"Oh thanks," Chan picks it up from his desk and turns away from Felix to fasten it around his waist, ignoring the way his face turns into a tomato.