I won't drag you down with me

8. New roommate

I used to long for normalcy.

I hated being around people. I would get too anxious and I couldn't be myself. I wished I could stay in my bedroom all day, hiding from the real world.

But when I was admitted to the center, I started to crave what I used to hate.

Every day was the same at Red River. You woke up at 8 a.m, had breakfast, took your medication, went to some sort of therapy, had lunch, did some "fun" activities, had dinner, took medication (again), and then off to bed. All over again.

The little things made me get up in the morning. Those and the nurses banging on my door at seven-thirty.

"Reese!", Daisy called by name from the opposite side of the garden.

"I'll be right back", I told my friends, before making my way across the garden. I still felt the insufferable need to not walk on the ground lines, so I stared down and made sure I was not getting myself a free ticket to Anxiety-land.

I smiled at the little girl and bent over so that I could look at her. "What is it?"

"Someone's here to see you", she spoke. She looked at me as if I knew what she was talking about and I was supposed to give her an answer.

I frowned, trying to ignore my heartbeat getting faster. "Who?"

The twelve-year-old shrugged. "Will you help me finish my snowman?", she then begged, doe-eyed.

"Sure. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be right back".

Daisy gave me a hopeful smile and I went back inside, sighing in relief once exposed to the center's warmth. I took off my gloves and walked down the hallway.

Mary was sitting at her desk. As soon as she saw me, she got on her feet and ran to me. "Is everything okay?", I asked. I was seriously starting to get worried.

She gave me a half-smile and pulled me in a hug. "Everything's fine. It's just...". She sighed, "Your mum is here"

I sighed in relief. "That's it? I thought I'd gotten in trouble or something". I then walked past her to make my way to Dr. Jones office. I was actually really excited to see my mum. I missed her so much.

Mary spoke again, though, and I froze. "She's not alone, kiddo", is all she said.

But that was enough for me to start overthinking. Could it be... ?

No. No way. It was impossible. Yet, as I slowly and painfully walked upstairs, all I could think of was the possibility that my dad could be there.

And how messed up it was that I kind of hoped that was the case, too.

I knocked on the door and heard Dr. Jones say "Come in".

And that's when all my hopes came crashing down: sitting next to my mum was x Boyfriend, Robert. I mean, it should have expected it, after all. It was foolish of me to think she would have come on her own; she never did things on her own. She always needed someone else to make her feel... special.

My mum got on her feet and pulled me in a hug. "Reese, sweetheart, it's so good to see you", she whispered in my ear. I could tell she was crying; she had always been the best one at showing emotions. I, on the other hand, had always been the best at bottling things up until I imploded.

"Hey, mum", I sighed, letting myself go between her arms. All of a sudden, I wanted to leave. Go home with her and never look back.

But I knew I had to heal, and healing takes time. So I just closed my eyes, holding back tears. She held me tight but let me go after a while.