Time Spent In Eternal Endings

An Ending to a Dead Thing

Hermione woke up to a face full of fur at 9:00 a.m., Crookshank's doing of course. Giving her just enough time to gather her things, get ready, and sit and have her morning coffee before she had to leave for the meeting which was at 10:00 a.m.

As she made her coffee she poured more into her cup than usual. She knew this morning would be a long one and she'd need enough energy to get through it without snapping at someone or wanting to pull out her wand and incendio the first thing in sight.

She still made her coffee without magic because it reminded her of home. She didn't have much of that left anymore, so she continued to hold onto the little things as well as the memories of her parents. However, they had none of her.

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Hermione made her way through the school. It was looking much better than before when the war had just ended. The courtyard was mostly repaired, sparing some walls that had yet to be mended. The walls inside the castle were still in shambles though. Some things were beyond repair when it came to using magic, but all of the debris and dirt were able to be swept away using spells luckily. Walking through the halls again felt much different. No chattering students, nor snogging behind pillars. She was thankful for the ladder. As much as she complained about some of the student's choice of actions, she found herself reminiscing about the innocence of it all.

As she walked through the school to Minerva's office she caught her reflection in a window. She hadn't bothered to look too put together, but she still put enough effort in to look presentable. She had thrown her hair up into a bun and worn muggle jeans that she paired with a casual grey shirt. She loved her hair— most of the time when it wasn't manhandling her— but lately she found it much easier to throw it up than spend the time trying to tame it. Not that she didn't have plenty of time on her hands.

She gave McGonagall's office door a friendly knock, though it was already open so she was rather stating her presence.

McGonagall turned around from where she was refiling some student reports. "Oh! Hermione, lovely to see you again!" McGonagall embraced her in a side hug with a pat on the shoulder.

"Likewise" She made sure her tone had a happy lightness to it, though if she hadn't been trying to sound nice she'd probably sound like a monotone tosser with the utmost important matters to attend to.

"Please sit, sit." The headmaster gestured an open hand to the brown leather seat in front of the wooden desk.

After the war, Minerva was given the title of the headmaster. A much better fit than that pink hairball she thought.

Minerva made her way into her seat, as did she. "So, as you know I would like you to be head of the organizing committee for the ball, but I do understand that it's a lot of time and hard work. So, I have taken the responsibility of making sure your needs are met and have provided you with a partner to assist you with the coordination of the ball."

"I'm sure you are familiar with Aiden O'Connor, correct?"

How... lovely she thought.

"Yes, we've worked together in charms class a few times." She tried her best to sound delighted at the headmaster's attempt to offer her assistance, but the mere thought of working with O'Connor was a headache.

O'Connor wasn't the worst partner to have as head of the organizing committee, but he definitely wasn't the best. She remembered not getting as far ahead as she'd liked to back in charms class when she worked with him because he talked so much. She knew this would be quite the task.

McGonagall patted her hands in confirmation. "Excellent! I'll see to it that he knows when and where to meet you. I have no doubt that you two will make a great team. If he happens to give you any troubles, do tell me and I'll be sure to rearrange some things." Minerva said with a smile out of excitement.

She wondered how she could be so excited. 

So happy at a time like this. 

She didn't want to sound dreadful, but it felt like everyone was trying to forcefully move on too soon. Maybe Minerva felt the exact same as she did but was just better at appearing otherwise. Or maybe Hermione just could not find it in herself to give up the grief that the war had washed over her in a huge wave that had yet to feel cleansing rather than like it was drowning her.

"Thank you for the opportunity. I'll be sure to keep you updated on how things progress." She said with a smile as she stood from the chair and made her way out.

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She spent the rest of her day at home with Ron. She tried not to let herself think too much about her "parasite" of a partner as she liked to call him. She figured all O'Connor would do is feed off her ideas and then mansplain them back to her as if it was some sort of intellectual discovery of his. Just the thought of it made her head throb which was exactly what she was trying to avoid.

When she told Ron all he really had to say was "Ahh O'Connor. I miss hanging out with him. Maybe me, you, Harry, and he can go catch lunch sometime."

Merlin knew she'd rather pitch herself off of the tallest point in Hogwarts than have to endure that torture of quidditch talk and old-school memories.

She and Ron were getting ready for bed and as she slid under the quilt covers Ron asked her how she had been feeling lately. An oddly unspecific question—Something she had learned to get used to over the years.

"What do you mean?" She asked in confusion. This felt like it was coming out of nowhere.

He turned towards her in bed on his side like a mirror of one another.

"I just feel like things have been so different after the war. Between us I mean— and most of this is coming from a place of guilt because it's mainly my fault. I just miss when we spent our nights together and instead, I've been out with Harry more than I've even been home because I feel like I can't give you enough. Especially after this war Hermione, it's like nothing is normal anymore and it's so hard to pretend like things are. I'm just sorry."

Her heart sank as she realized. He'd not been ignoring her or trying to purposefully get away from her but to get away from his own thoughts. He was going through his own things too and she should've taken that into account sooner. They both should've realized sooner.

Her brows furrowed with guilt because of all of the miscommunication.

 "Hey, don't you ever think you can't give me enough. You've given me more than enough day in and day out. We got through that war together and now we need to be here for one another. I know it's not easy. Trust me, I know."

She shook her head and her heart felt heavy from finally letting herself feel the weight of her problems for once.

"But we can't avoid each other when hard things come our way. We can't just not communicate how we're feeling if we want things to work. Okay?" She edged closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Okay." He whispered into her hair as she felt sleep pull her away while listening to the sounds of his chest rising and falling from where she lay on it.

That night there was no coldness. Just warmth. She'd forgotten what that felt like and didn't realize how much it was something she missed.

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