Kurt Cobain and Kurtis Conner

Chapter 1- peeny peeny

This book is dedicated to wastingloght and chayuhcha omg 😳

Kurtis' POV

I have depression.

It's not my fault though unlike every other bad thing I do, no. My dad passed it down to me, the man whom I still lived with because he forced me to, even though I was 28. Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry sad

My dad was this man named Paul McCartney aka Paul Seductor. He was a member of The Beatles and once went on a yellow submarine. I never liked talking to him, but the few times I did I learned a few things.

The first thing I learned was the reason I didn't have the same last name as him. That reason was because I was an embarrassment to him.

Also, he would never tell me who my mom was nor anything about her. He one time gave a hint that she might not even be a girl, and that she died a while ago. RIP my mummy.

I sat in my basement, cleaning the dust off the cement floor with my toes. While doing so I sang to myself because my voice is absolutely amazing and I wanted to have my main character moment. It was part of an original song that I hadn't finished writing. Originally it was about my ex girlfriend's mom, called Stacy's Mom, but I changed it.

"Oh your mom has got it goin' on
She's super hot
And I've cummed for so long
Rivers, can't you see?
You're not the virgin for me
I know that your butt's wet but
I'm in love with your wet clit mom"

"Shut the frickity frick up, Kurtis. Paul Seductor and I are having hot and steamy sexual intercourse that involves our private parts" My dad's boyfriend, Brian May, yelled at me. He was a part of a famous rock band called Queen. We will we will rock you scared emoji.

I scoffed "I have an amazing voice, don't you want me to use it just like my dad?"

"Dads, you mean?"

Before I could ask any questions, Brian's eyes went wide, noticing his slip up. He turned to walk out of my room but I raced to close the door. Then, I pinned him against the wall.

"What do you mean, Brian?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Brian started to shake "I-I don't know!"

I slapped the British guitarist against his pretty face "TELL ME OR I WILL PISS LIKE BELLA SWAN"

Brain nodded "Okay! Your other dad was Freddie Mercury. How else do you think I met Paul Seductor?"

I nodded and sighed "Any other secrets?"

"You have a twin brother who has a similar name to you. When you were born, Paul and you moved away from Freddie and him for some reason"

I took my hands off Brian "What's his name?"

He shrugged "I don't know. It was something similar to yours. I also know he's not identical to you"

I nodded "Anything else about him?"

"No. Can I please go have sex with Paul Seductor now?"

I nodded and he walked up the stairs. Sighing, I collapsed onto my bed.

"What am I going to do?" I asked myself like those teenagers do in movies

"We can go kill Paul Seductor and his boyfriend"

I whipped my head to see my Danny, Drew, and Awsten Knight standing in front of me.

I shook my head "Drew, I'm not killing Brian May. He's too cool. Besides, he's only mean when he is having sex with my dad"

"You can come join my band" Awsten suggested "You can express your true feelings about Paul in a song or something"

I shook my head once more "No! That is a terrible idea!"

Danny shrugged "How about we get you out of the house? I've always wanted to go to Seattle"

I scoffed "Why? So you can go fuck all the grunge people there and form a grunge band?"

Danny nodded "Yeah, actually"

I sighed "Then let's go"