vitreous / hs. (DISCONTINUED)

dear doctor

V I T R E O U S – T W E N T Y

atlas

            “Dear Doctor,” she began, spitting out the word ‘doctor’ as though it was poison.       “My name is Ines Frieda-George McClellan. I’m seventeen years old. I’ve been here for six god-awful months, and I have DID.”

Ines looked up from her crumpled paper held between her frail fingers and at the psych, asking if she needed to continue. The psych nodded encouragingly, Ines rolled her eyes and sighed.

She continued, “Do I enjoy DID? No. Do I look like I enjoy having like, twelve people in my head? Fuck, of course not. I don’t see the point of this at all and quite frankly, I’d like to leave.”

“Keep going Ines, you’re doing wonderful.” The psych whose name was Kendra told her. “Tell us about your alters.”

Ines groaned.

“Come on,” Kendra nudged.

“No.”

“Ines,”

“Fine. I have twelve, I think.”

Someone snickered in the circle, but I couldn’t tell who. Ines scowled. “Yeah, laugh, whatever. I don’t want to do this. I know three for sure; some just… walk around in the back like, like shadows. I’m myself right now, Ines I guess.”

“Keep going,” Kendra said with such a fake smile I wanted to pull it right off. Couldn’t she see Ines was uncomfortable? “What else would you like to tell us?”

“I don’t know, Kendra.” She spat. “What else am I supposed to say? I’ve said it all: ‘Hi, I’m Ines, and I’m fucked up.’ I’m leaving.”

“No you’re not, Ines.” The nurse stood up as Ines friskily made her way to the door. Ines pushed past her and out the door. All was silent until we heard her yelp echo a few ways down the hallway.

Some shuffling was heard and I saw a man carrying a squirming Ines the opposite direction down the hallway. Kendra brushed herself off and sat back down, taking a deep breath. The atmosphere was tense; nobody moved.

Arrow, who was sat in the chair next to me, said nothing. He didn’t even turn his head. I did the same. Kendra stood up again.

“Alright,” she sighed, composing herself. “Who would like to go next?”

No one said a thing. After what just happened, I doubted anyone wanted to follow after Ines.

“Come on now guys,” she started to walk around the circle of seated patients. Everyone was tense, gripping onto their papers. No one made eye contact. “Someone’s going to have to go, or I’ll choose. I know you’ve all written your papers.”