barren feelings

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V I T R E O U S – S E V E N T E E N

atlas

 

 

“Where were you yesterday?”

I looked up from my hands in my lap – as I had gotten a little too mesmerized by the lines on my palms – at Ines. She was looking at me with her hair hanging in front of her eyes like she always did, but for the first time I saw she had brown eyes.

“Sorry, what?” I let my hands fall and set them beside my legs.

“Where did you go yesterday? I missed you.”

I couldn’t hide my smile. “Aw. Well, I was with Arrow.”

She rolled her eyes and my smile faded. “You’re always with Arrow.”

“I’m sorry,” I said half-sarcastically. It wasn’t her business that I was always with him.

“Don’t apologize,” she shuffled on her bed, sliding her legs under the covers and pulling them up over them. “It’s for good reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“You guys are good for each other.”

I chuckled. We’re far from good for each other, I feel we’re, like, poisonous for each other. I care about him so much but he’s a ticking time bomb and I’m a hurricane and it just doesn’t work. We don’t help.

“Why’d you laugh?” Ines asked.

“It doesn’t work.”

“What doesn’t work?”

“Him and I.”

“Yes it does,” she argued, pressing her hands into her mattress. “Atlas and Arrow; the map and the pointer. It’s meant to work.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I’m a genius.” Was all she said. She didn’t dare to explain it to me, I knew she wouldn’t. She doesn’t like figuring things out for people; she figures them out and then forces someone to wreck their brain to figure it out for themselves.

I still didn’t even fully understand what she meant when she had said ‘It’ll get better, Atlas. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. But it will get better.’ Her intelligence sometimes took me by surprise, because two weeks ago she was the one tattooing her arm with her blood and I was the one questioning my placement here at Hotel Hell. Now she was giving me life lessons I didn’t even understand.

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