(𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 😃𝑻𝑾 𝒕𝒉𝒆re 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆, 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆!)
It's been so long...I can't remember now. You've been gone since I can remember, but that doesn't mean I forgot you. That doesn't mean I can't keep the tears in every time my body meets the soft comfort of my bed in the late hours of night. Just because you've left me for her doesn't mean that I still haven't forgotten your favorite food...I still cook it sometimes. I never eat it, the cat always comes by and licks the sauce off the top but leaves the rest of the meal for the trash, because that's were it always goes. I still remember the soft, smooth feel of your hair as I would brush it for you when you couldn't do it yourself. I still remember how you would take the remote with you where ever you went in the house so I couldn't snatch it and watch my shows...I remember your smile...and how goofy and amazing it was. I remember so much but so little. I do still go to work and take care of the cat and make sure to clean but...I always forget to take care of myself, because that's what you helped me with. You made me happy...but...
She made you happier.
I remember the day so clearly. Like it was just yesterday.
You had been out a lot and came home late, you were always exhausted but you seemed happy...so I was happy. If only I knew...
I wasn't until I smelled it. That horrid, awful smell of that coconut perfume...that smell that you seemed so used to...
It wasn't until I saw money disappearing out of our bank account, being spent on gifts such as chocolate, teddy bears, flowers, jewelry, etc, etc. But I never seen a single one...I only ever saw the purchase on the my phone screen.
It wasn't until you seemed to hate me. You got cold, would get angry over simple things, didn't eat, you would always sleep faced away from me on the bed.
It wasn't until...I saw you with her. You looked...like us. But it didn't feel like that, no it hurt...it hurt so, so bad...I remember running away, tears streaking down my face, heads turning out of confusion...
I remember the day you came home, confused and irritated to see me on the couch waiting for you...I remember every word you shouted at me after I confronted you...I memorized the sound of that door slamming shut...
I not even mad...I'm just in pain. I don't even wish death upon you or even torture and pain...I could have done better.Not as just a significant other but as a person. I hope you're okay...genuinely. I hope you and...her are doing good. Y'know when we were kids...when we'd always dream and joke of the future? All the dreams...I still think about them. About what we could have been. All I can remember and feel each day is this deep feeling in my chest. It feels numbing but it only seems to numb the happiness and leave the sad. It's like having a rock on your chest as you sink slowly into a deep, dark ocean. I feel so alone...you said you would be there for me...where are you now? You left me. But that's okay. I guess I have to leave in my own way too. I gave our cat to Chihiro, he loves the cat and was hesitant at fist about taking her. He knew how much I loved her and how bad it hurt, but I didn't want to leave her suffering through my last days, especially since I can barely take care of myself. It's been three days since I've left my job, I submitted my two weeks notice and I'm now free...I can finally leave...nothing holding me back...I already cleared out the house so nobody else has to live with the burden with it. I only have my bed and my pills. So as I sit here, writing these last few words I want to say thank you...thank you for leaving me...I can now finally be in peace like I wanted. Thank you everybody whose been there for me, and I know you will forget about me soon but please come and see me once in a while okay?
Mondo knelt there in silence. His eyes wide as tears spilled out of them and down his cheeks. His hands were trembling as he read the last few words from his ex lover Ishimaru. He felt as he could never look back but never get up, he felt too frozen. He only came back to get the information to his accounts because he knew he left them but he found something more than just the simple pieces of note cards with information on them.
July 23, 2021, Mondo Owada found the limp and life less body of Kiyotaka Ishimaru laying on the bed, Mondo could only think of how beautiful the raven haired boy looked and how at peace he was. All that was thought and said are left to his thoughts, all events are to be forgotten in history as time goes on. All that's known is that everybody eventually moved on...but the lavender eyed man couldn't just forget about...the day you left...
(𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒐 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒅 :,) 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒂 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆, 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒚𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍, 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚'𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒚 ^^ 𝑴𝒘𝒂𝒉!)
