Old Friend New Lover | Conan Gray

Chapter 7- I Still Hate College

October 7th- 2017
I wake up with my books spread all across my bed and floor and hit my head up against my headboard scooting back. (Oww fuck) Yeah no this sucks... I need coffee. I make my way to the shower and get dressed to head over to the campus coffee shop. I head over to the coffee shop here and listen to my favorite songs on the way. Once I get there I get a call from rae and I pick up sitting outside before heading in.

Hi rae how'd you sleep? "It was great lovely how about you"? Well I couldn't sleep honestly I kept waking up I'm just gonna get some coffee. I honestly think it cause I'm here I'm studying so hard and for what I don't want to be here. "Things will get better soon whether you stay or not". That's what Conan said I say sadly missing him again. "You ok syd"? Yeah I'm- I'm fine listen I gotta go need to get back to study. "Ok bye I love you". Love you too I say before hanging up and heading inside. I order my usual before sitting down waiting to be called.

I start studying some more before getting distracted by this couple sitting at the front. They look so ridiculously happy I wish that could be me. Why can't it be I say to myself. i continue to look over at them longingly every once and awhile. My heart starts to ache knowing it's not me and probably won't ever be at least not again.

I stop studying and pull out my song book and write down song ideas until I get a text.

cone🍄
hi bby how was your night 🙄

me🧸
why the face 😐

cone🍄
cause you didn't text me this morning

cone🍄
but I still care smh

me🧸
well sorry I immediately got up for some coffee

cone🍄
decent excuse I suppose

me🧸
I had a fine night conan thank you

me🧸
hbu sleep well

cone🍄
it was pretty alright lots of studying though

me🧸
gosh I gotta go conan but I'll ft you later

cone🍄
ok we'll talk later I love you sm

me🧸
I love you too conan byeee ❤️

I smile as I put my phone away and make my way back to my dorm room. I take my stuff off and change into something more comfortable. I start working on some songs I've had in my head for awhile. The first song I start writing for I decided to name banter. I pluck the guitar strings slowly singing the few words I've written down so far.

I lay my head atop my guitar and my mind starts to wander off and I make up a new song called ex town... just me missing Texas the one place I felt most at home.
I sit back and come up with a new set of chords for the song already falling in love with the idea coming up with a few words on the spot. I miss that old town became attached real quick I miss my ex town. My ex town, Will I ever go back or is all said and done I really can't be sure I just miss my ex town.

I put my guitar down and lay on my bed and sit and think about my whole life and it I'm actually upset being here in college or am I just being difficult. I think for awhile before saying aloud nope I still hate college. I breath out heavily too tired to continue. I think go to call my mom to tell her im sick and her and my dad can't come to visit AGAIN. They've visited an unholy amount of times being I've only been here a short time.

I finally get her to agree and I toss my phone aside and go to take my second shore of the day. I turn the heat up more than usual wanting nothing more than to feel numb in my skin. I go to sit on my tubs floor and cry to the tunes I made up in my head wanting nothing more than to be anywhere but here. I make up a new song and I decided to name it bracelet with conan in mind since I gave him my old bracelet.

I quickly get out of the shower to write down what I came up with not wanting to forget it. I lay on my bed not even bothering to get dressed and fall asleep with this song in my mind. Knowing when I wake up I'll work on it some more with it already being my favorite song I've come up with so far.

October 8th- 2017
I wake up late for classes and hurry myself over to my second class after realizing I missed my first class. Halfway there I stop and ask myself why I care so much being that I don't want to be here in the first place. Why am I busting my ass studying and rushing to classes if I don't even care about the aftermath. I check the time on my phone 9:30 am. I was tempted to text or even call him but, I knew he was busy in class (but I need him... and his advice I just can't take much more of college.)

I got to his contact and type a quick hey can we talk?
He answers back in just a few minutes asking if I'm ok.
I give him a brief rundown on my dilemma and he helps me through it all telling me to just take the day off and not worry too much. ("I'll come see you soon syd I promise".) We haven't seen each other in months. Two weeks turned into two months now it's already February or next year and I miss my best friend.

The friend I could talk to about absolutely nothing and still feel alive. The friend I could ask advice from and actually feel better. The friend who I thought I barley knew but could tell you everything about if you asked. I miss him an I'm scared someday will turn into eventually or will just forget about each other until, it years down the line and, I remember moving to Texas and remember that boy I met and, start to get sad.

Wil! that be us my heart aches thinking about it but, the time we've yet to see each other again is growing longer and longer, and my heart slowly grows more empty.

That was chapter 7 of old friend new lover hope y'all enjoyed it and let me know what you think ok byee ❤️.